Monkeys Fist

You buy a TV License?

So, you also object if a Teeside factory worker tried to tell media recruitment specialists who to employ, by that rationale?

Is it tiny bowls of English food?

Sorry, I made it up completely, including the bit about lifting it from a song - I just wanted to send Fish on a fruitless trip searching for lyrics. Apologies for dragging you in

The horror… the horror…

Here’s a fellow Tees-sider showing the correct way to fish for bites.

Oliver Hardy?

10 points if you can name the song I lifted it directly from.

Just say No!

FYP

This is the point in the game when we look to the bench and bring on fresh legs in the areas of weakness.

Very sad way to go, too. RIP

Not your first rodeo with a European Bear, then?

Eleventy two

At least a bitch ain’t one, though.

Not as many as you’d think- most of Western and Northern Europe is pretty safe from the above, but the Eastern Mediterranean is seismically active ( see the recent earthquakes in Italy, Greece etc, also Etna, Stromboli, Vesuvius in Italy). Eastern Europe (and Spain) have wolves and bears. Central Asia is prone to earthquakes. North Africa is fairly stable geologically and meteorologically, and doesn’t have that many deadly animals any more, so I’d count them as safe ( you didn’t say political, because by that metric they’re currently fucked). The rest of Africa is out due to one or more of your criteria. South America is out, as is North America. Australia isn’t seismically dangerous, but gets some deadly weather and most of its animals want you dead, so it’s out. NZ is one of the most seismically active countries on the planet, along with Japan. China has the mad weather, Tigers in India, Bangladesh is flood central, Pakistan loves a good earthquake. Russia has Polar Bears, Iceland keeps exploding.… … Mongolia seems pretty safe, but unless you like Yaks you’d be bored shitless. edit; Mongolia had an 8.2 earthquake in 1905 and is classed as high risk for another, so Yak milk is off the menu too.

Another major 7.2 earthquake has hit Haiti. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-58215631

I went once and the beer is served in glasses.

Tbf, both are true if that’s the case.

Strap the metector to your leg then walk around stiff-legged like you’ve shit yourself. You’ll find your rusty spoons and no one will come near you, giving you the peace you crave. 👍