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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. I’m not saying the death of Lord Vader and the disappearance of the Utah monolith are linked, but they’re definitely linked. RIP Mr. Skywalker Snr.
  2. “When you’ve had the best, the rest are…ehhm… y’kna…shite.”
  3. Newcastle have now failed to score in the first half of 20 of their last 26 Premier League games.
  4. I’m concerned about @wykikitoon, he’s not been about lately- I reckon that useless cow that just spends t’whole day on t’phone has finally sent him over the edge and he’s gone on a rampage at work, but since everyone’s wfh he’s been locked in there since the 5th and has been surviving on the moldy leftovers that “all these fucking manky bastards” left in the staff fridge.
  5. Nice, but a better tribute would’ve been if they’d all worn Scouser wigs and had a dusting of “talc” on their top lips. Would’ve at least generated a modicum of interest in the proceedings.
  6. He’s had to cut the right arm off all of his t-shirts.
  7. #BLMM ( Bruce Loves Monster Munch). He’s definitely got Pickled Onion breath.
  8. His hands look normal-sized on that table. Massive heed, but.
  9. I’m going to watch a bag of frozen peas defrost.
  10. Got to make use of the Union flag while they still can 😉
  11. Ehlers Danlos syndrome, I’m guessing. Or Superhero.
  12. Either your dentist had tiny hands or…
  13. 67 years ago, the first summiteers of Everest, Sir Edmund Hilary and… Sherpa Diegozing
  14. I just thank God I’m an atheist.
  15. Condolences lads, sorry I can’t help you with advice. If it’s any consolation, I doubt Half Mancock or his advisors could help you either, and they made the rules.
  16. They can’t fucking help themselves, can they?
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