Monkeys Fist

Hoarder porn. Thank me later, @Renton

Nah, they just heard ewerk was going in.

3s & 4s here, with the odd raid into 7 territory if the beer was too nice.

By proper…

Glad the stores seem to be doing something about it- my old man is 85, lives alone and normally does a little shop every couple of days. He’s pretty stoic, lived through WWII and rationing, ( as he loves telling us ), but he’s been getting a bit anxious about the empty shelves. “ How many times do these nuggets need to wipe their arse in a day?”

Can I predict my armed revolution yet?

I wonder if Corona Virus has infected Leazesmag’s computer yet?

And John Barnes- I was 29 in 1997 and was middle aged by the time he’d ran past the halfway line.

I think we should all ease up on the piss taking of Renton tbh. It’s an incredibly stressful time, likely to become even more so, and everyone deals with it in different ways. And he’s on his period.

I mean, you’re a massive fanny. Sureky that counts?

My mate in Germany says the shops there have all run out of sausages and cheese. That’s the Wurst Kase scenario.

I’m kind of pleased Pinas never made it with us.

Would you like me to post some tits for old time’s sake?

I think he’s gone on holiday to Teneri… oh.

You been self isolating before it was cool?

Have you seen the cunt that set up a full rig of decks and speakers… at night. Then blasted out shitty fucking Corona found it.…

Miserable git.

If at some point you encounter a bloke in his fifties, fighting off the fit nurses with a stick, be gentle with me.

Aren’t you likely to get called up to the coalface? ( I’m not being snarky, btw, just from what’s going on in Italy, it seems it’s all hands on deck in healthcare).

Mackems must sick of their lives- League 1club, only employer in the village going down, and no gummy-blows off Granny for the foreseeable future. FTM

Homicide- Life on the Straße?

I asked for 2/6 of a tiger loaf at Morrison’s and they told me to fuck off.

They’ve been planning which one gets to eat your balls when you die alone.

He wanks his dogs, so he does.