Monkeys Fist

Now you suddenly care about others? Fuck right off man.

Aye, if you’ve got Irish, Scottish, or Northumbrian heritage, chances are there’s some Viking tadpoles swimming about in there.

I can just imagine his poor young kids, sitting watching 4 frozen chickens slowly rotting in the garden. “ Daaa-aaad, when will they start making eggs?” Edit; the average going rate for a ready-to-lay chicken is between £15-20 each. Whoever sold the Tory Tit four for £20 obviously saw him coming and sold him some budgies with red Haribos glued on their heads.

I’ve got this album on while I make tea. (Chicken Yakitori Skewers with steamed broccolli and noodles).

I think this could be our year.

Where is it this year?

Not that we know about, comrade.

Also, when did everyone on here become such massive fannies? Give yourselves a shake lads.

I was thinking “potato hummus, hmmm, sounds nasty”, then realised it’d just be fucking mash. Time for a beer.

Blatant profiteering from the upcoming Chickpea Famine. You monster.

Naffytitties? Shagged most of Guide Post before 5BC.

Chickpeas… Are you saying we might run out of chickpeas? Everyone, Tom said there’s a chickpea shortage!!! Everyone buy chickpeas, NOW!

Turtle slurt.

Wasn’t Cleopatra from Ashington, though?

Wanker.

Pornhub.com.

Given that there’s only around 142,000 NHS beds in total, in all departments, I’d say we’re fucked.

Business opportunity here…

Was that armed police on the touch line right at the end?

I read somewhere that the DNA history of Iceland showed that the original settlers were Viking males, and Celtic women- the implication being that the Vikings stopped in Scotland/Ireland to “pick up essential supplies” before heading off to their new colony. Edit; it’s a good few paras down in this https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/news/viking-slavery-raids-evidence

Most of which have closed to funding cuts.

I’d never noticed them before. Looks like the typesetter had a few too many Vaux.

I think a large part of the problem here is the “Peter and the Wolf” effect. The Tory government have openly and brazenly lied to the populace so often and for so long, that nobody trusts them on anything anymore, even if they might be right.

Mamie Stuart: Sunderland burial for 1919 murder victim https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-51386314