Monkeys Fist

But they’re a massive club, so should really be helping out the likes of the smaller Championship clubs.

I finished early. 5/7.

He should buy some new fucking plates, the manky bastard.

And he was absolutely right.

Word is that she knocked on his shed door and asked if she could join him, and he told her, ” Tae fuck, wumman, it’s locked an’ ahd rather wank”.

I hope the govt. points out they have an online service and fucking hammers them to set an example.

Is that seagull story about the mackems bringin one in to their village centre? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-51888403 Because if it works, there’ll be a shiyload of gulls moving home, most will head for the next nearest urban area… a bit further north, just over the river

Because they didn’t decide to make it until 8:00pm

Not if you’re out on the piss.

It’ll take him at least as long as the life of this pandemic to work out which bit the nuggets come from.

Never mind that … civilisation has now officially broken down. Coronavirus: Greggs to close all stores to prevent spread https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-51999604

This is doing the rounds.… It’d be nice if half the cunts posting it took heed.

‘Pon de mic.

Bacon shed.

Pangine.… Shed time

Basic stuff, but I’ve just spent the afternoon making a fuck-off pan of tomato ragu with the Fistlets, some of which is going on the pizzas they made dough for earlier, some in the lasagne Fistette wants to make later this week. If the butcher is still open, I might get some bones and go for a big batch of Demi-glacé later this week too.

Either way, I’ll be a husk of a man by the end of this.

I’ve lost the key. Fucking disaster.

England is further north, south, east and west than everywhere in Wales.

I’ve just checked, it seems Hartlepool centre is further north than Mull of Galloway, by fractions of a degree. 54.68 and 54.41 respectively. Close enough though.

Hartlepool is further north than the southernmost part Sweatyland. Please God, switch off my internet.

Ah! I was going to give you the “ Newcastle is further west than Southampton”, but it doesn’t apply to Poole. Edinburgh is well west of you though. Can you tell how bored I am?

He might just be a lovable bag of cuddly fun.

* you’re

Portsmouth?