Monkeys Fist

Does he live in Tyne Dock, like?

The End Times are upon us. Cthulhu due at Tyne Dock imminently.

Aussie PM “Stop hoarding, I can’t be more blunt about it. Stop it. It is not sensible, it is not helpful and it has been one of the most disappointing things I have seen in Australian behaviour in response to this crisis.” Good Cunt.

Mein Trumpf. Katy Hopkins Yaxley-Lennon.

Prince Killip, more like.

Don’t click on this then… https://journalistsresource.org/studies/society/public-health/global-rise-human-infectious-disease-outbreaks/

If you listen really carefully, you can hear a faint, persistent scratching in the background. It’s the sound of millions of wives writing “jobs around the house” lists for us poor saps. Worse, still- THERE’S NO FUCKING ESCAPE!

Sorry. Had to be done.

Don’t worry, he’ll change his mind tomorrow.

I got stopped in town by a scouser market researcher who asked, ” Do you like avocado?” I said, “ No mate, I can’t drive.”

Every cloud… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-51943592

Hoarder porn. Thank me later, @Renton

Nah, they just heard ewerk was going in.

3s & 4s here, with the odd raid into 7 territory if the beer was too nice.

By proper…

Glad the stores seem to be doing something about it- my old man is 85, lives alone and normally does a little shop every couple of days. He’s pretty stoic, lived through WWII and rationing, ( as he loves telling us ), but he’s been getting a bit anxious about the empty shelves. “ How many times do these nuggets need to wipe their arse in a day?”

Can I predict my armed revolution yet?

I wonder if Corona Virus has infected Leazesmag’s computer yet?

And John Barnes- I was 29 in 1997 and was middle aged by the time he’d ran past the halfway line.

I think we should all ease up on the piss taking of Renton tbh. It’s an incredibly stressful time, likely to become even more so, and everyone deals with it in different ways. And he’s on his period.

I mean, you’re a massive fanny. Sureky that counts?

My mate in Germany says the shops there have all run out of sausages and cheese. That’s the Wurst Kase scenario.