Kevin Carr's Gloves

I have never been to Benidorm

They finished with a quick shot of my glasses

Puff!

For fucks sake, I’m wearing my new glasses as well

I’ve had a camera up my arse up my cock and down my throat. I’m like a medical porn star.

Am I being blind, where’s Bruno?

They nosedive any issue related or not into Saudi slagging

Isn’t Stanley Fatmax Lewis Miley’s uncle?

We just pay a peasant to do it.

So I think it’s agreed ASM isn’t fit to tie Gordon’s bandages.

Oh he’s magic you know Fabian Schar is just soooo magic you know repeat ad nauseum

He’s managed 38 games over 2 seasons

I’m beginning to think selling Isak wouldn’t be a huge mistake

Yeah with the combined 10 minutes of gametime they’ve had since September

In 1986 when my regiment was based in Germany and we were worried Ivan would invade, we actually decided between ourselves which of our officers wouldn’t make it past the first day

We might be on Disney

Surely they’ll suss him out fairly quickly.

I don’t think we are going to buy anyone this window and we are saving everything for big signings in Summer after we announce some enormous sponsorship deals.

I’m out too old too disabled and too deaf.

Except of course Bobby grew up in Washington never lived in Sunderland itself and moved to North Shields. He would never have referred to himself as a mackem he was a pit yacker.

How often did he captain England?

There’s no mention of Sunderland in any Saxon records either

I’d sell him for £100m