Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 2 minutes ago, Kid Dynamite said: Just got a bill for £1268 to fix the wife's car. FML Could’ve been worse- could’ve been £1270. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17876 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: I got some water trapped in my ear whilst on holiday in Corfu back in 2004. Went to a doctor on the island to get the lugs jetwashed, and the things that came out were horrific. Like, you could probably tar a roof with it. Ever since, I’ve had to give em a blast every month or so and it’s both disgusting and fantastic- disgusting because of the amount, and colour, of the shit that falls out, and fantastic because I can hear again. Is this a DIY thing? I don't think I've ever had it done before but also think my hearing is pretty much fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 12 minutes ago, Renton said: Is this a DIY thing? I don't think I've ever had it done before but also think my hearing is pretty much fine. Aye. Tried all kinds of ear drops and whatever but nowt works better than cooled, boiled water with some salt in it and a fuck off big syringe. Once the main plugs come out I feel like that little deaf baby getting his implants switched on for the first time 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17876 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 3 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Aye. Tried all kinds of ear drops and whatever but nowt works better than cooled, boiled water with some salt in it and a fuck off big syringe. Once the main plugs come out I feel like that little deaf baby getting his implants switched in for the first time Considered ear candles? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Is that from Viz? Can I buy them from World of Wasps? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17876 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Is that from Viz? Can I buy them from World of Wasps? It's a genuine treatment option. I remember it from yonks ago when I wrote NHS guidelines on impacted ear wax. Can't remember the efficacy data off hand though! Here is the advice: Edited January 22 by Renton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Renton - “ Whilst the data for clearing earwax is inconclusive, the risk of setting your head on fire is a positive 85%. “ 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35008 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Sorry I'd just like to distance my medical situation which required hearing tests, CT scans and MRIs from these DIRTY ANIMALS who can't keep their ears clean. Very different. Very very different. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6441 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 I have been deaf in my left ear since 16 December. Sinuses were full of matter from rancid illness, which spread into and out from my inner ear, bursting my ear drum. I was working for about a week, absolutely sick of my life, with some rolled up tissue paper - looking not unlike a cigarette - sticking out of my ear to soak up the pinkish goo coming out at an alarming rate. At the Christmas do I had arranged for the company (and therefore felt obliged to attend) I forewent the ear-tab approach and had the delightful new experience of feeling my fucking ear dripping onto my shoulder. All the best Gemmill, tinnitus is fucking irritating. I had to wean myself off earplugs when the second kid was born as it just felt a little unfair to blissfully sleep through both the cunts crying. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35008 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Like fully deaf, never coming back? Sorry to hear that. And aye, the tinnitus. I went for "tinnitus retraining therapy" which was really just them explaining that it's nothing to worry about and some things like having bird noise playing really low in the background throughout the day or whatever to give your brain another focus. They don't actually do anything to treat it (it's untreatable, I think), but the idea is CBT based in that them explaining it and you understanding it more means you fixate on it less and so it recedes into the background. Worked for a bit but not at the minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6441 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 They said it should come back in 6-8 weeks. Although if I sleep on my right side it is almost as good as having ear plugs, so..... You get used to tinnitus and that's as good as it gets, according to most of my ex-raver coterie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9064 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: Aye. Tried all kinds of ear drops and whatever but nowt works better than cooled, boiled water with some salt in it and a fuck off big syringe. Once the main plugs come out I feel like that little deaf baby getting his implants switched on for the first time What, just a big syringe with warm salty water? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 1 hour ago, The Fish said: What, just a big syringe with warm salty water? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17876 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 1 hour ago, The Fish said: What, just a big syringe with warm salty water? Fish life hack If you're using your enema syringe, make sure you give it a good wash out first. 👍 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 1 minute ago, Renton said: Fish life hack If you're using your enema syringe, make sure you give it a good wash out first. 👍 Shirley that’s its purpose? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob toonpants 3628 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 5 hours ago, NJS said: I had a similar problem with my ear which mainly happened around holidays so flying related so after one failed attempt to get the wax out I went for a session with someone operating what could be best described as a vacuum attachemt for orifices. She pulled out a lump of wax that looked like the alien insect Khan puts in Chekov's ear at the start of Star Trek II. I asked for it to keep as a souvenir but she refused. Sorted the problem. I do have earplugs which I use when I spend the night with my lass as she's a snorer and was tempted to try them last night but was then paranoid I'd miss something I needed to hear. Roll on about four hours fucking sleep. I've got a wierd shaped ear canal or something, so my ears don't drain properly and I have to have this done twice a year The shit that comes out is unbelievable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19887 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Can we stop talking about ear wax please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 3685 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 I got tinnitus as a side effect from my chemo, it’s really strange how much it acts up when our lasses mates come round and I have to leave the room/house. Should probably look into it 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: Can we stop talking about ear wax please What’s your biggest ever lump of smeg, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19887 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 23 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: What’s your biggest ever lump of smeg, then? Being without a foreskin has some advantages 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9299 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: Can we stop talking about ear wax please Pardon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26609 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 13 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: Being without a foreskin has some advantages 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38941 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 44 minutes ago, ewerk said: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5613 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 4 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: Being without a foreskin has some advantages As someone who had a foreskin until my teens, and is now without a foreskin I can confirm the accuracy of this statement. Also, have you seen this? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17876 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Fucking hell man, stop it. That makes me feel more physically sick than a close up of runny shite. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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