The Fish 9382 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Stronzo d'oro! Asshole gold? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Sorry for your troubles J69, hope they're sorted. Personally, I'm feeling let down, I'd hoped a friend would help me out with some translating, but he's being a prick and scooting off to some Eurovision event instead... what a prick.  I'm also sun burnt.  Sunburnt? That's so British. It's only been 15 degrees or something. You been sunbathing all day covered in olive oil or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9382 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Sunburnt? That's so British. It's only been 15 degrees or something. You been sunbathing all day covered in olive oil or something? All week. Â I burn easy though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 36821 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Apprehensive. Stag weekend and I am just not equipped to cope with these things. Haven't been since my mid 20s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9382 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Apprehensive. Stag weekend and I am just not equipped to cope with these things. Haven't been since my mid 20s. Just be the guy that buys the shots, then they all get fucked and nobody notices that you aren't drinking as much as they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Apprehensive. Stag weekend and I am just not equipped to cope with these things. Haven't been since my mid 20s. Â took me about a week to recover from my recent stag weekend in hamburg. the worst bit is no one allows anyone to stop drinking at any point, even though secretly most people want to. Â i got shouted down for asking a barman for a drink of water inbetween rounds. bear in mind this was at 6pm and we'd been on it since 10am with nothing consumed but beer and kebabs in that time. every fucker started shouting at me saying drinking water was cheating. Â anyway. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 28455 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Apprehensive. Stag weekend and I am just not equipped to cope with these things. Haven't been since my mid 20s. Put some of your clothes on the Robot Hoover and get him to take your place, nobody will notice when they're pissed. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 by day three everyone wanted to get home to their wives. three days of relentless drinking in the company of other men is only really fun for the first two days. i think most of us secretly wanted to beat the shit out of each other by the end of the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9382 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 by day three everyone wanted to get home to their wives. three days of relentless drinking in the company of other men is only really fun for the first two days. i think most of us secretly wanted to beat the shit out of each other by the end of the weekend. Had a bit of that at my mates Stag-Do. Â I just can't be arsed with 90% of the traditional stag-do nonsense. I don't want to get so drunk I am dead the next day, I don't want zany fancy dress, I don't want a stripper/to go to a stripclub, I don't want polo shirts with people's wack nicknames, I don't want to do any kind of food based challenge, I don't want a tattoo. Â My favourite was Oktoberfest, then it was a mate (who's been exiled down to the South coast) who watched the Ipswich game of the promotion season, then a bit of food, then out on the piss in Newcastle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Had a bit of that at my mates Stag-Do. Â I just can't be arsed with 90% of the traditional stag-do nonsense. I don't want to get so drunk I am dead the next day, I don't want zany fancy dress, I don't want a stripper/to go to a stripclub, I don't want polo shirts with people's wack nicknames, I don't want to do any kind of food based challenge, I don't want a tattoo. Â My favourite was Oktoberfest, then it was a mate (who's been exiled down to the South coast) who watched the Ipswich game of the promotion season, then a bit of food, then out on the piss in Newcastle. Â i don't mind the strippers or stitching up the stag in an outfit. i draw the line at geting the stag naked, mankinis or handcuffing him to a rail and fucking off and leaving him - where's the fun in that? Â the relentless drinking is fun while you're doing it but i can't handle the hangovers anymore and having to get on it two or three days running, starting at breakfast every morning, because it's always a fucking stag weekend these days and not a stag night leaves me feeling like death for the entire following week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 36821 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'll definitely be ducking out of drinks (not rounds, I'll be getting absolutely hosed by contributing to a kitty I barely drink from) or getting water if I want to. I will roundhouse kick anyone who tries to argue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Ironic as fuck that Fish is having a go at zaniness when you look at some of the plums he associates with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9382 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Ironic as fuck that Fish is having a go at zaniness when you look at some of the plums he associates with. Think of me as Attenbrough, observing the bizarre and the beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Fucking hell, your mates sound like utter cocks Gloom. Â Me and my mates use stag weekends to do exactly what we want, get high, get drunk, eat amazing food and basically enjoy ourselves. Having a bunch of friends you cant relax with because they are acting like first year university students sounds like my idea of a living hell. I would have knocked the first cunt out who said i couldnt have a drink of water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14247 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I've already negotiated a get-out-of-going-to-see-a-stripper card for my mate's stag in Hamburg this summer. Starting to think I should have added a no-Jägerbombs-until-lunchtime clause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 ChezGiven - it's a stag weekend, it's not exactly a typical night out is it? Â you're talking about 15 lads that have all pretty much settled down with wives and kids let off the leash for an entire weekend of debauchery. it's only natural that everyone regresses to lairy lager lout mode, particularly when it's a 48 hour session with a kitty involved on foreign soil. it was never going to be a trip for the culture vulture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 got to add something on the amazing food line too. i'd be amazed if you were able to persuade 15 lads to all go for a fine dining meal after a day on the lash. i tried steering us into nice-ish restaurants but it was like herding cats. not sure any nice places would have taken us anyway. the best we managed was a nice little italian joint. the low point was on the sunday, just after the home spanking by the mackems, when someone herded us into a kebab shop ... for lunch. i was so broken by that stage i'd lost the will to protest and ended up following them in there and weeping into my falafel. couldn't get home quickly enough by that stage. Â ps - my mates aren't wankers by the way. i think reverting to feral behaviour is fairly typical for big groups of lads in their mid 30s on rare away trip like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9382 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I've already negotiated a get-out-of-going-to-see-a-stripper card for my mate's stag in Hamburg this summer. Starting to think I should have added a no-Jägerbombs-until-lunchtime clause. Just be a snob and insist on a proper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 got to add something on the amazing food line too. i'd be amazed if you were able to persuade 15 lads to all go for a fine dining meal after a day on the lash. i tried steering us into nice-ish restaurants but it was like herding cats. not sure any nice places would have taken us anyway. the best we managed was a nice little italian joint. the low point was on the sunday, just after the home spanking by the mackems, when someone herded us into a kebab shop ... for lunch. i was so broken by that stage i'd lost the will to protest and ended up following them in there and weeping into my falafel. couldn't get home quickly enough by that stage. Â ps - my mates aren't wankers by the way. i think reverting to feral behaviour is fairly typical for big groups of lads in their mid 30s on rare away trip like this. Nah they sound like cocks. I've been on a few stag do's, dont worry. Once we were 20 Geordies and 10 jocks in Amsterdam for 3 days. Amazing time and utter madness, no one once told me what to drink, eat or snort. We ate at a lush Argentinian steak house every time we ate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39421 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Â Stag Fight!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Nah they sound like cocks. I've been on a few stag do's, dont worry. Once we were 20 Geordies and 10 jocks in Amsterdam for 3 days. Amazing time and utter madness, no one once told me what to drink, eat or snort. We ate at a lush Argentinian steak house every time we ate. Â you're coming across as a bit of a cock judging a bunch of lads you've never met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20314 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Fucking hell, your mates sound like utter cocks Gloom. I would have knocked the first cunt out who said i couldnt have a drink of water. Â you sound hard as fuck like. there's no way i'd try and persuade you to join in on a round of shots in case you unleashed the hammer on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Â Â you're coming across as a bit of a cock judging a bunch of lads you've never met. Just saying your mates 'sound' like dicks, if it concerns you try and portray them differently. Â Keep cool G, good luck with the speech Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Yeah Dan it's all your fault Chez is calling your mates wankers. Â Chez really is a cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 What a bloody night. Can someone get me a bacon sarnie with brown sauce please? Ta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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