Monkeys Fist 39184 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 A bear walks into a butchers to buy a steak.... The butcher is taken aback but gathers himself and says, "That'll be £60 sir". "Here you go", says the bear, paying with two £50 notes. "You know, we don't see many talking bears buying steaks and paying cash here”, says the butcher as he returns the change to the bear. Bear says, " I'm hardly fucking surprised at that price”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14136 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27582 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 5 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: A bear walks into a butchers to buy a steak.... The butcher is taken aback but gathers himself and says, "That'll be £60 sir". "Here you go", says the bear, paying with two £50 notes. "You know, we don't see many talking bears buying steaks and paying cash here”, says the butcher as he returns the change to the bear. Bear says, " I'm hardly fucking surprised at that price”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39184 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 5 minutes ago, Meenzer said: 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39184 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Just now, Howmanheyman said: Grin and bear it. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 7073 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27582 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 23 minutes ago, Toonpack said: "Fuck off." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39184 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 26 minutes ago, Toonpack said: Also 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5873 Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 3 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: A bear walks into a butchers to buy a steak.... The butcher is taken aback but gathers himself and says, "That'll be £60 sir". "Here you go", says the bear, paying with two £50 notes. "You know, we don't see many talking bears buying steaks and paying cash here”, says the butcher as he returns the change to the bear. Bear says, " I'm hardly fucking surprised at that price”. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9498 Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2246 Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 Every year, Smitty and his wife Martha went to the State Fair. And every year, Smitty would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year, Martha would reply, “I know, Smitty, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” This one year Smitty and Martha went to the fair and Smitty said, “Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance. ” Martha replied, “Smitty, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.” Smitty and Martha agreed, and up they went. The pilot performed all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He even does a nose dive, pulling up 15 feet above the ground, but still not a word. They land and the pilot turns to Smitty, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.” Smitty replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, …but ten dollars is ten dollars!” 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 2246 Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That’s how I knew we weren’t going to work out. 🤪 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39184 Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 7 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That’s how I knew we weren’t going to work out. 🤪 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9498 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 2 hours ago, Tdansmith said: I asked my date to meet me at the gym. She never showed up. That’s how I knew we weren’t going to work out. 🤪 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9240 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 On 26/01/2024 at 23:42, Monkeys Fist said: What film is that from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14912 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 3 minutes ago, The Fish said: What film is that from? Gregory’s Girl, the directors cut 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9240 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 17 minutes ago, PaddockLad said: Gregory’s Girl, the directors cut You, sir, are a goddamn liar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14912 Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 14 minutes ago, The Fish said: You, sir, are a goddamn liar. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9498 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 15 hours ago, PaddockLad said: Gregory’s Girl, the directors cut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20169 Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 On 19/01/2024 at 14:21, Gemmill said: This thread has basically become old man Facebook. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 20169 Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 On 24/01/2024 at 17:36, Toonpack said: my wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up my disgusting habits. i was so surprised I almost spat out my toenails 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9498 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 1 minute ago, Dr Gloom said: my wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up my disgusting habits. i was so surprised I almost spat out my toenails 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39184 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: my wife threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up my disgusting habits. i was so surprised I almost spat out my toenails Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6443 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dazzler 5873 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 26 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. F. told me if I didn’t stop quoting Oasis lyrics she’d be kicking me out She asked “ Is that what you want, Fist?” I said “Maybe”. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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