Howmanheyman 26981 Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Ethel at the old people's home helped Arthur to get to sleep by sneaking into his bed at night and holding his family allowance till he fell asleep then she'd go back to her own bed. This was a nightly occurrence but one day she visited Arthur to tell him she'd be visiting her son and his family for a few days. 'But what about you holding on to my John Thomas till I go to sleep?' Arthur asked. Ethel replied, 'Don't worry, I've asked Dot to stand in and she said she doesn't mind helping.' When Ethel returned, Arthur asked to have a word, 'Ethel, if you don't mind I'm going to have Dot helping me by holding on to my one eyed snake.' Ethel didn't mind too much although was slightly hurt. 'What has Dot got that I haven't?' She asked. Arthur replied, 'epilepsy.' 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonatine 10007 Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26981 Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 1 minute ago, Sonatine said: Yes, something like that. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 3 hours ago, Wardi said: Police have arrested a man for squirting Domestos at the Archbishop of Canterbury. Officers say the man has been charged with a bleach of the Priest. Domestostic Abuse? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9250 Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 12 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Domestostic Abuse? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wardi 82 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 Police and the fire service are investigating an explosion at a Chinese dumpling factory in Gateshead. An officer at the scene said it was the worst case of wonton destruction that he had ever witnessed. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 That’s just all kinds of Wong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 12, 2023 Author Share Posted October 12, 2023 Tso bad 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said: Tso bad I’m dead. Someone please hoi’s in a coffin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 12, 2023 Author Share Posted October 12, 2023 10 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: I’m dead. Someone please hoi’s in a coffin. gao fuck yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said: gao fuck yourself Oy! Sterring up trouble as per. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 12, 2023 Author Share Posted October 12, 2023 Bao down to my punnery! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 Absolutely wokking it there Gloomy. I suppose a good knowledge of Chinese cookery terms is integgroll to good punnery? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 Mrs. F. had a stair lift installed last week. Drives me up the wall, tbh. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 9250 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 30462 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 11 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Absolutely wokking it there Gloomy. I suppose a good knowledge of Chinese cookery terms is integgroll to good punnery? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 13, 2023 Author Share Posted October 13, 2023 13 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said: Absolutely wokking it there Gloomy. I suppose a good knowledge of Chinese cookery terms is integgroll to good punnery? that should come as no stirfries 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 Puns make miso happy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 33 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Puns make miso happy. But they leave me wonton more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 13, 2023 Author Share Posted October 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: But they leave me wonton more. you cannot be char siurius man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Dr Gloom said: you cannot be char siurius man! Pho real! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 13, 2023 Author Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Monkeys Fist said: Pho real! oy, oy soy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34632 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 How do you feel this is going, lads? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19840 Posted October 13, 2023 Author Share Posted October 13, 2023 21 minutes ago, Gemmill said: How do you feel this is going, lads? soy soy good. keeps me out of the middle east thread for five at least 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38836 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 1 hour ago, Gemmill said: How do you feel this is going, lads? Settle down there Miss Congeeniality! For all that you say you hate puns, you can’t help peking at them, can you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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