Park Life 71 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 There is a long story. But the short story is that when I was going through my rocky patch with Mrs P, this particular bitch was revelling in it. She played a kind of sidekick role to Mrs P's moodswings and kept taking her out for drinks and so on...When me and the Mrs really needed time together.. This particular munter (she's about 6.2" and does refurishing work on old houses) is pure Kraut and a real nuisance. I'm a bit jumpy as I haven't seen her for about a year and a half (she's been living in Berlin since her boyfriend dumped her). It's a real flash back I can do without... What to do? I need to play it cool and am out sat night with mates...But it's strange that I feel I need to stay out of the way. Ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4003 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Enemies close Parky, enemies close. Grit your teeth take her to one side and thank for being a good friend to Mrs P. Or get her pissed, give her the come on and then cry help as she assaults you in the kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 Enemies close Parky, enemies close. Grit your teeth take her to one side and thank for being a good friend to Mrs P. Or get her pissed, give her the come on and then cry help as she assaults you in the kitchen. It was my first thought. I could de-weaponise her just by being really nice...But that will be a push..I already feel the awakening of my Dexterish subconscious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12898 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 When she walks in the house, hug her tightly and warmly but whisper in her ear, out of your wife's earshot, that if she puts a word out of place over the entire weekend, you'll be giving her a couple of right hooks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Are you in love with your wife Parky? My advice depends on this factor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sniffer 0 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Be cool. Make sure she knows that you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 35515 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Be tolerant and as pleasant as you need to be. That's all you need to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26803 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 (edited) Do what every real man would do. Smile at her and pretend like nothing ever happened. Either that or suggest a threesome. Edited December 16, 2011 by ewerk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 39172 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Wait until she's asleep, then slowly but methodically place your helmet on her face. As she wakes, photograph it and threaten to upload it if she ever comes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaldstott 0 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Wait until she's asleep, then slowly but methodically place your helmet on her face. As she wakes, photograph it and threaten to upload it if she ever comes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 Are you in love with your wife Parky? My advice depends on this factor. I am. I mean the little things that bug you when you live with a woman and you see your reflection in her and you realise you're a self-centered sack of shit and an egoist and somehow that's ok cause you're a survivor and you made it through the fear. That you like talking in bars like you know who you are but you get edgy if people talk like they know YOU...Cause they can never know YOU. Love is something you hold onto, not something that is present. All those posters at the train station with people smiling and airburshed to fcuk, somehow that makes more sense when you're happy..But really it's an alien universe you know you can never be a part of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4263 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 So just telling her to get the fuck out of your house is out then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 (edited) Wait until she's asleep, then slowly but methodically place your helmet on her face. As she wakes, photograph it and threaten to upload it if she ever comes back. I remember a couple of years ago I heard her fucking her boyfriend when we were staying with them. I was sat in the kitchen and she came out all sweaty and flustered...She said "That was a good workout"...There's that horrible Germaness about her. A workout? A fuking workout?!!1 Edited December 16, 2011 by Park Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Are you in love with your wife Parky? My advice depends on this factor. That you like talking in bars like you know who you are but you get edgy if people talk like they know YOU...Cause they can never know YOU. Don't trust this response KSA, Leazes has clearly hacked his account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 So just telling her to get the fuck out of your house is out then? Mrs P is in charge mate. It's what happens when you live with women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Bells tits 1 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4263 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 So just telling her to get the fuck out of your house is out then? Mrs P is in charge mate. It's what happens when you live with women. Wait until she's asleep, then slowly but methodically place your helmet on her face. As she wakes, photograph it and threaten to upload it if she ever comes back. I remember a couple of years ago I heard her fucking her boyfriend when we were staying with them. I was sat in the kitchen and she came out all sweaty and flustered...She said "That was a good workout"...There's that horrible Germaness about her. A workout? A fuking workout?!!1 in that case I recommend doing this to her! except if shes in bed go in and scream it at her in all seriousness though (mostly) go for the charm offensive, imagine the pleasure of her squirming as you are incredibly nice to her giving them nowt to bitch about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin S. Assilleekunt 1 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 That's all very well and good parklife, but the fact remains that YOU have not answered MY simple question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noaliasmike 0 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Tough one really. Just give her the occasional angry look, that'll show her who's boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 That's all very well and good parklife, but the fact remains that YOU have not answered MY simple question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monroe Transfer 0 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Sounds like your wife is planning an affair with her tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 13915 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Put some tin foil on your head and hum. Then she wont approach you AND you can block out the government messages, DOUBLE WIN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4003 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 surely he must have at least 1 pic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted December 27, 2011 Author Share Posted December 27, 2011 Well? I was as good as gold. So much so she stayed an extra day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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