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Manchester United v Newcastle United


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Burroughs-

Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his ass to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I had ever heard.

 

"This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.

 

"This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called "The Better 'Ole' that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, "Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?'

 

"'Nah! I had to go relieve myself.'

 

"After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

 

"Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in- curving hooks and start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built and act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: 'It's you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we don't need you around here any more. I can talk and eat AND shit.'

 

i've got a recording of Frank Zappa reading that

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Please feel free to provide me with proof of that in relation to the word phones

 

you could have said "the ability of my phone to spell."

 

you chose not to & said, or should have, "my phone's ability to spell."

 

the apostrophe you omitted was required as you were talking about your phone's (note how i've used it) ability to spell, which is a quality it possesses.

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Well we are compared to Man Utd. We are not a big club anymore and thats thanks to Llambas and Ashley - but Pardew constantly highlighting "we cant compete" in the pressers doesnt help either.

Mcfaul agrees with the bit in bold Im sure.

I agree we can't compete and a large reason for that is Ashley's mismanagement of the club and inability to maximise revenues. The rest though well I don't agree. I don't think a club who last season averaged the 14th largest attendances can't be described as "wee". A club who are made to feel important by the vast media coverage are not "wee", we're significant because people care, and we have as many proper supporters in this country as anyone apart from Man Utd, Arsenal and Liverpool. We're the biggest club North of Manchester in the UK in my eyes, we have a genuine catchment area from North Yorkshire, to Cumbria to Southern Scotland, and we're supported everywhere within that vast part of the country. We win fuck all, but we got in to a position to challenge by becoming the FIFTH RICHEST CLUB IN THE WORLD at one point, not by some Ayatollah throwing in billions. I think him calling us wee is his worst moment, the fact that he's called us "wee" suggests that he doesn't think we are to me. You wouldn't come out on telly and say Boro are wee, or West Ham are wee because it's just accepted.

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I agree we can't compete and a large reason for that is Ashley's mismanagement of the club and inability to maximise revenues. The rest though well I don't agree. I don't think a club who last season averaged the 14th largest attendances can't be described as "wee". A club who are made to feel important by the vast media coverage are not "wee", we're significant because people care, and we have as many proper supporters in this country as anyone apart from Man Utd, Arsenal and Liverpool. We're the biggest club North of Manchester in the UK in my eyes, we have a genuine catchment area from North Yorkshire, to Cumbria to Southern Scotland, and we're supported everywhere within that vast part of the country. We win fuck all, but we got in to a position to challenge by becoming the FIFTH RICHEST CLUB IN THE WORLD at one point, not by some Ayatollah throwing in billions. I think him calling us wee is his worst moment, the fact that he's called us "wee" suggests that he doesn't think we are to me. You wouldn't come out on telly and say Boro are wee, or West Ham are wee because it's just accepted.

 

Very true

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I agree we can't compete and a large reason for that is Ashley's mismanagement of the club and inability to maximise revenues. The rest though well I don't agree. I don't think a club who last season averaged the 14th largest attendances can't be described as "wee". A club who are made to feel important by the vast media coverage are not "wee", we're significant because people care, and we have as many proper supporters in this country as anyone apart from Man Utd, Arsenal and Liverpool. We're the biggest club North of Manchester in the UK in my eyes, we have a genuine catchment area from North Yorkshire, to Cumbria to Southern Scotland, and we're supported everywhere within that vast part of the country. We win fuck all, but we got in to a position to challenge by becoming the FIFTH RICHEST CLUB IN THE WORLD at one point, not by some Ayatollah throwing in billions. I think him calling us wee is his worst moment, the fact that he's called us "wee" suggests that he doesn't think we are to me. You wouldn't come out on telly and say Boro are wee, or West Ham are wee because it's just accepted.

I agree we can't compete and a large reason for that is Ashley's mismanagement of the club and inability to maximise revenues. The rest though well I don't agree. I don't think a club who last season averaged the 14th largest attendances can't be described as "wee". A club who are made to feel important by the vast media coverage are not "wee", we're significant because people care, and we have as many proper supporters in this country as anyone apart from Man Utd, Arsenal and Liverpool. We're the biggest club North of Manchester in the UK in my eyes, we have a genuine catchment area from North Yorkshire, to Cumbria to Southern Scotland, and we're supported everywhere within that vast part of the country. We win fuck all, but we got in to a position to challenge by becoming the FIFTH RICHEST CLUB IN THE WORLD at one point, not by some Ayatollah throwing in billions. I think him calling us wee is his worst moment, the fact that he's called us "wee" suggests that he doesn't think we are to me. You wouldn't come out on telly and say Boro are wee, or West Ham are wee because it's just accepted.

 

 

Agree with all of that Stevie. The problem is, we are being ran like a "wee club". If you do that for long enough, eventually you become one.

Takes alot of reverse effort to get there with such a following - granted - but spend money like wigan for 10 years and you are bound to become an "also-ran" eventually.

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"wee club in the North East"

 

What a cunt. Why has he never said that about the likes of Everton, Reading or QPR? Wee club in the NE who had FAR more fans and more trophies than his own club before the global sympathy which came with the Munich Air Disaster. I wish we still had to play them at home.

 

I distinctly remember him calling Benitez arrogant when he said something like "it's difficult when small clubs come here just to defend" after a Merseyside derby.

 

I really wish they still had to visit SJP as well.

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