Jan 0 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Come on fess up. One of my party tricks is walking into closed patio doors (they all have stickers on now but this doesn't seem to help). Bust my glasses the last time I did it and my pride. I bet a few of you have peed in the washing basket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38682 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Don't you mean "glassed your bust"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Random pissing is something I've never done, though a few mates have. One thing strings to mind, arguing with a taxi driver in Reading and I knew he was driving the wrong way. I started giving him grief (this was around 4am) and he was talking gibberish on his radio and I knew he was calling for mates to come back him up. so at a roundabout I bailed. Ran off (somewhere between Reading and Bracknell) and went to jump a 6ft garden fence, mis-timed and ran through the fence instead. Thankfully it was the middle of a panel and it smashed fairly easily. I ended up walking around 90mins the rest of the way back to the hotel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 While we've all no doubt puked due to drink, I have two classics: 1st when I was about 17, drank a huge bottle with two mates. Everything seemed to be going fine then I woke on the floor with my face in a puddle of puke and as the floor was lino, my face had stuck to it. Still remember the "schlop" sound it made as I peeled my face off. 2nd Around 1990 the night of the great north run, first Id done. Went for a drink with my mate around Jarrow, came home and drank home brew then a bottle of champagne then had an indians. Felt I was going to puke and made it to his kitchen. Put my hand over my mouth which only made it spray in various directions. Pissed, tried to clean it up with a few of his tea towels which only seemed to spread it all over. Niiiice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8978 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Booked the hotel for my best mates stag-do in Munich. Forgot we were there for 3 days, not just 2. I covered the cost of the rooms for the extra night at 2 x the price of the original nightly rate, but yeah I'm not great at organising shit like that. At Uni during a particularly heavy party I tried to get some cash out for vodka at about 08:30 at the local supermarket, card was declined due to lack of funds. So, I freak out (that freak out was aided by the various chemicals rumbling about my head), get to the nearest bank aroun 09:00, and organise an overdraft extension with pupils like dinner plates. I was so twitchy the guy asked what was wrong and my friend (equally fucked) explained I was having a bit of a panic attack because my rent was due soon. The clerk was so concerned he got me a mug of tea while he went through the paperwork. Once the cash was sorted we went back to the party with a few more bottles and some snacks because I'm thoughtful like that. It was only the next day when my housemates explained how utterly fucking stupid it was that it sunk in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19784 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 a bungee jump. never again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26731 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Loads and I'm lucky I'm alive. I quite liked the time I thought I'd save time at Wembley by jumping off a ramp and onto the top of a van then climb off the van and get ahead of the crowd, had I not been so pissed out of my skull I'd have realised that 1. It was dangerous and 2. It was a police van. Lucky for me it was empty although a policeman on the ramp saw me and told me to 'get back here'. I shouted back up 'should I go the long way back or just climb up on the van?' smiled, shook my head and went on my way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 After a night on the drink and coming out of the grottiest club in Nottingham, I took a shortcut through a car park and over some parked cars. It was also raining. I slipped on a windscreen, face-planted the concrete and found my foot wedged into the bumper of the next car over. I only cut my face, but should've been far worse. Also made a few youtube videos years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38682 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Aged 18, pissed to the gills on Old Peculier, as we left the Dungeon Ghyll I decided to van surf the Transit down Langdale for a mile or two. Feckin eejit. Oh aye, and this That's me in the rather fetching speedos , about to deliver a mammoth self-wedgie on impact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6432 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I had sex without a condom in the eighties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Soon to be this (see last post) http://www.toontastic.net/board/topic/33971-wheeeeeee/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Fuck me where to start!!!! I suppose ditching a £100,000 grand a year job comes close :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 We've had this thread a few months ago, and this is mine....oh dear. Fuck it, I'll tell the tale but don't think badly of me. I was young and extremely daft. One of my pals was in a band, and was playing at The Rock Garden Cafe in London, so loads of us got the bus down, probably 40 people on the bus to watch him. The RGC has like a night club bit. What worked out nicely was, I had a ticket for Chelsea away so the bus got there at 2pm, and I had an hour to get to Stamford Bridge. We lost the game 1-0 but were mint, SBR first away game as manager. Anyway, met back up with the lads and lasses about 8pm in the RGC when the gig was about to start. Was mortal by this stage, anyway got to 10 gig finished and the place opened up to like a club style place. A good number of us were discussing the fact we wanted to some charlie, so fuckin muggins here agrees to leave the club and go looking for charlie on the streets around Covent Garden. I was so drunk I was asking every black bloke around. Anyway I gets surrounded by 10 dodgy looking black blokes, beside the cash point, so I freaked out, one of them went "you're scarin 'in man", so I found a gap and I was away. So I asked this older fella again he was black, he said he couldn't get me any charlie, but he had a crack pipe and if I gave him a 5a I could have a few blasts. This seems like a horrific tale looking back, but you have to remember I was 21, a lunatic, and gagging for some class A's, plus I was mortal. Anyway, I had a few blasts of the crack, fuck me I know this is the trampiest story ever, but I've done loads of drugs, that was the best high ever. I got back to the club and instead of coming down after 15 mins, I was still pretty high when we got back on the bus at 2am to gan yem. Anyway, it was the first and last time but fuck me what a hit, trampiest thing I've ever done, and I could've got meself killed quite easily asking rogues for charlie then settling for crack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill 0 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 After a night on the drink and coming out of the grottiest club in Nottingham, I took a shortcut through a car park and over some parked cars. It was also raining. I slipped on a windscreen, face-planted the concrete and found my foot wedged into the bumper of the next car over. I only cut my face, but should've been far worse. Mine was also a faceplant. Went out for a few drinks one afternoon which turned into a stupid number of drinks and no food. Couldn't keep my balance at all walking home but for some reason thought taking a shortcut was a great idea (thankfully I wasn't alone). Stumbled and fell face first into the ground, scraped my face and chin and lost my glasses, although was able to pick them up. It was only the next morning I realised one of the fucking lenses had fallen out. I had to go to for an eye test the following day with a stinking hangover then go to work for about 3 days with only one lense in my glasses (and scrapes all across my chin) while I waited for the new ones to be made. These days I still drink as much, I just don't take shortcuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38682 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Stevie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34338 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Fuck me where to start!!!! I suppose ditching a £100,000 grand a year job comes close :-) Who was paying you 100 grand a year ffs. You can't even make a slice of toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38682 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 These days I still drink as much, I just don't take shortcuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Putting 3 grand on France to win the 2002 World Cup wasn't one of the greatest decisions I've ever made neither, they didn't even score on goal in three fucking games! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Who was paying you 100 grand a year ffs. You can't even make a slice of toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12757 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Ended up with two kids to THAT BITCH, Diane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14030 Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Started an evening on Aftershock and Goldschlager and ended it trying to walk down the Central Motorway. I'm still a bit ashamed. I mean, Aftershock ffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan 0 Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 It was my mates 21st so it was a long time ago and I used to wear gas permeable contact lenses (a type of ridged plastic). So I put them in at the start of the night with no problem. When I got home at about 3am I was so pi**ed I just went to bed. Woke up with a blinding headache and assumed it was a hangover. Anyway I wobbled about and my eyes were killing me so when I went to the mirror to have a look to discover that I had gone to sleep with my lenses in and during the night they had embedded themselves into the corners of my eyes. Talk about freak out! I had to work them out of my eyes with contact solution, dextrous fingers and will power all while not been able to see a bloody thing I was doing. Took a week for me to be able to see again and a stern lecture from my optician I had wonderful contact lenses sizes rings where they had been and looked like I had been in a fight and lost. I did eventually switch to soft lenses and I ALWAYS remember to remove them before I go to bed no matter how pi**ed I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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