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Euro 2020/1


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My bamp neighbours have invited a load of their scummer mates round for a barbecue, and the fucking heavens have opened. Each raindrop like a bucket.     

Get tae fucking fuck.

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1 hour ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

ITV with that match btw :lol: You’d think it was the final of Euro 96

I couldn't believe Matterface last night, never really caught much of him before but he was fucking baaaaaaad. Just wittered on and on about fuck all, talking absolute fucking rhubarb all night and at one point chatting about 'Murder she wrote' which was a particular highlight. :lol: He's terrible.

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Him and Dixon is the partnership where commentary goes to die. You’ve got Matterface with absolutely no capacity for capturing the excitement of what’s happening and Dixon has never once successfully cracked a joke that hasn’t resulted in 5 seconds of awkward silence

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12 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

I couldn't believe Matterface last night, never really caught much of him before but he was fucking baaaaaaad. Just wittered on and on about fuck all, talking absolute fucking rhubarb all night and at one point chatting about 'Murder she wrote' which was a particular highlight. :lol: He's terrible.

Clive Tyldesly’s natural successor 

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:lol:

 

"Hey Gazza, I loved watching you coming through at the toon, mind."

 

"Hiccup...... Cheers, Jock, am cabbaged here, like. Can you find me cock for iz?

 

"Would sir like it shaken and not stirred?"

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10 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

:lol:

 

"Hey Gazza, I loved watching you coming through at the toon, mind."

 

"Hiccup...... Cheers, Jock, am cabbaged here, like. Can you find me cock for iz?

 

"Would sir like it shaken and not stirred?"


That bit is surprisingly accurate :lol:

 

Being honest I didn’t touch his “chap”.... he appeared from the cubicle saying that he couldn’t go so I had a quick look and he had button fly jeans on that were still done up, he was plainly too utterly fuckin wankered  to undo them and I wasn’t going to see the cunt piss himself so I undid them for him. A kid with a Rangers top appeared and had a mini melt down so I told him he could do Gazza up, which he did, then extracted a price for his efforts by calling his missus over and getting a selfie with the drunkest man in Britain, which is quite a feat seeing as Scotland had just finished playing football....

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6 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

I love how our significant others are always referred to as “current” Like we all know that the inevitable is coming and they’ll get sick of us eventually.

© Terry Wogan

Yes, I am old! 

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People started drinking for England vs Scotland a couple of hours ago :lol: 

 

I finish graft at 5 and have an early morning getting ready for a trip away tomorrow so I’ll probably not drink. 
 

Twitter is going to be a circus!

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3 minutes ago, Tom said:

People started drinking for England vs Scotland a couple of hours ago :lol: 

 

I finish graft at 5 and have an early morning getting ready for a trip away tomorrow so I’ll probably not drink. 
 

Twitter is going to be a circus!

At work till seven but grafting my arse off for a flyer. :lol:

 

Should be away for about five or even earlier then round to a mates outside bar with a few of us and a telly rigged up outside. And beer. :D

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