Smooth Operator 10 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Just been in a meeting with a bloke who was wearing braces! Anyway he wants to "touch base" with me next week and has fore-warned me to be equipt to think "outside the box". I nearly nutted the twat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khay 8 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Good choice of avatar then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Next time try a game of Bullshit Bingo: We tried it once, it was great watching everyone trying to stifle the giggles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 My previous boss used to go on about 'getting a flavour' for something. He also used 'touch base' when he felt he'd been 'out of the loop'. There were a few more I can't remember now. Jesus wept tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 13943 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 My former bosses in Mainz, a husband-and-wife team of supreme ugliness, used buzzwords like there was no tomorrow. "Mind dump" was a particularly gruesome one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34162 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 My old boss liked to "blue-sky" things. And "suck it and see". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 5881 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 That is why I could never work in an office! Cleaning vomit off homeless people on a saturday night is preferable to brown nosing cunts like that tbh! I think id permanently feel like tim from the office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 That is why I could never work in an office! Cleaning vomit off homeless people on a saturday night is preferable to brown nosing cunts like that tbh! I think id permanently feel like tim from the office. 161576[/snapback] I do neither, makes me the winner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 "Stakeholders" is a popular term our way and can have anything upto 37 different meanings. I always get a mental image of a vampire hunter whenever its said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 "Stakeholders" is a popular term our way and can have anything upto 37 different meanings. I always get a mental image of a vampire hunter whenever its said 161580[/snapback] Isn't everyone who has any involvement in your business a stakeholder? From employees to suppliers to customers etc.? A really useful phrase then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 "Stakeholders" is a popular term our way and can have anything upto 37 different meanings. I always get a mental image of a vampire hunter whenever its said 161580[/snapback] Isn't everyone who has any involvement in your business a stakeholder? From employees to suppliers to customers etc.? A really useful phrase then 161582[/snapback] Exactly. mind you - the dwp still isnt as bad as andersen consulting was. when we were outsources to them we were ositive there was soe sort of calender given to staff with a particular buzzword for that week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 one bloke i worked with used to take the piss by dropping absurd words into every conversation with the andersen people. his favourite was "gyroscopic". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I recall we had a manager once that would mix his phrases up, one classic was: "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it put its foot on the ladder" This is the same manager that claimed his hotel room had a suzuki in the bath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4801 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 That is why I could never work in an office! Cleaning vomit off homeless people on a saturday night is preferable to brown nosing cunts like that tbh! I think id permanently feel like tim from the office. 161576[/snapback] I wouldn't. Just "suck it and see" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 One I've been hearing lately is 'thought showers'. The worst part of this is that people are using it instead of the old bullshitter phrase of 'brain storming' because it's classed as un-PC against Epileptics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 13943 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 One I've been hearing lately is 'thought showers'. The worst part of this is that people are using it instead of the old bullshitter phrase of 'brain storming' because it's classed as un-PC against Epileptics. 161598[/snapback] Surely "thought showers" is un-PC against forum members who like to bathe in their overnight sweat all day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 One I've been hearing lately is 'thought showers'. The worst part of this is that people are using it instead of the old bullshitter phrase of 'brain storming' because it's classed as un-PC against Epileptics. 161598[/snapback] I've never heard that one before. Council-tastic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I recall we had a manager once that would mix his phrases up, one classic was: "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it put its foot on the ladder" This is the same manager that claimed his hotel room had a suzuki in the bath. 161592[/snapback] Is he thick or very funny? I'm always using "Does the pope shit in the woods?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I recall we had a manager once that would mix his phrases up, one classic was: "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it put its foot on the ladder" This is the same manager that claimed his hotel room had a suzuki in the bath. 161592[/snapback] Is he thick or very funny? I'm always using "Does the pope shit in the woods?" 161603[/snapback] I think he was a bit of both, he's retired now sadly, we used to call them Arthurisms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 My old boss liked to "blue-sky" things. And "suck it and see". 161574[/snapback] Is that how you got that promotion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I recall we had a manager once that would mix his phrases up, one classic was: "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it put its foot on the ladder" This is the same manager that claimed his hotel room had a suzuki in the bath. 161592[/snapback] If you didn't venture up to his room you don't know for definite that he didn't have a motorbike in his bath tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17580 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 "Idea showers" have replaced "Brain storms" in my neck of the woods too. Has anything useful in the history of mankind ever come from one of these meetings anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellsy 0 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 "Fucken drug addicts" "Fucken BANG!" Always get a great rehearsal at work during the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8946 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I drowned in a sea of acronyms everything from HR, BF etc. to NIMBY and SMIDSY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Although I do often use the term "resource intensive" instead of "it will take ages to do that". So now when any daft twat asks me to do owt I tell them it's too "resource intensive" instead of my usual flat refusal. Goes down a bit better I find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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