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I've got the ultimate Colgate smile.

You've opened your third eye - you have to cut out fluoride for that so I can only assume you have teeth like a smashed fence, but at least you'll be able to ride the cosmos.

if you come again bring some spanish lady friends that look a lot like penelope cruz. should you need an interpretor for the day I'd be happy to help out.

At least I hope they made me look good.

You were. I remember the headline: "Lying bastard speaking in broken Spanish tries to convince vulnerable big issue seller that he was a footballer." It was a fun read tbf.

I don't think I've ever mentioned this here. When I was at St. James's Park years ago (Newcastle-Norwich in 2018), I was walking around the stadium before going in to watch the game and ran into a woman handing out newspapers/magazines at the door advertising a betting shop. I don't remember which one. The woman was surprised to see that my cousin and I didn't speak Geordie and that we clearly had a strange accent (well, we spoke Spanish to each other). She asked us various questions, and we ended up telling her that we were two kids who had been Atleti fans as kids and that she didn't quite know how we'd ended up being Newcastle fans from afar. I think the woman, who seemed to have a poor understanding of football-related concepts, understood that my cousin and I were Atleti players who had come as fans to watch a Newcastle game. He even asked us for a photo, and when he said goodbye, he told us it would be published in that magazine/newspaper. I was always curious to know if I'd ever be on the cover of a local newspaper. Hahaha.

Sounds great, sign me up! "Hang on a minute.....I'm getting.... Swimming?..... Brimming?......RIMMING!! That's it! Is there a Keyth in the rewm?"

I bet you money we don't have a new player in the first XI by the time they game kicks off Same happened last year. We got to see Will Osula make his debut instead

Naa... You'll definitely have to have it because I've bought the domain www.daveythewalkervillewizard.com in preparation for the live show to follow, it'll be a bit like a male Mystic Meg playing the clerbs, you'll be dressed like Gandalf and basically doing Derek Achorah's act with a football quiz & bingo thrown in. Contract being finalized today, it'll be emailed out to you for signing tomorrow 👍

Anyone going to the Celtic game but not in the NUFC section. It’s sold out for us.

Wouldn't be surprised if Mbuemo to Man Utd falls through if Bruno has refused to go to Saudi and Sancho is on his way back

I've been writing to some friends to see if we can go on a trip...

The same. Looks like he is going to Barcelona.

"And now for my final song here at the Stack, a sad song by the big O and I'm going to miss you all, you've been an amazing crowd, thank you very much..... 🎵 .....Setting suns before they fall Echo to you, that's all, that's all But you'll see lonely sunsets after all It's over, it's over, it's over It's over. 🎶

Something to do with the temporal lobe apparently if I have it at all? I've an MRI in two weeks but the doctor said they might not find anything at all so I don't know what they do in that circumstance other than put it down to my extraordinary mental faculties and count it as a heavenly blessing.

tbf even TBD could get a ticket for the sela cup I managed to get one for the second game about an hour before kick off and had my pick of the seats.

@Howmanheyman That all sounds exactly like what my mate had and it was focal seizures due to epilepsy. Needed some pretty strong medication but he could manage it for a while. He did need brain surgery, like but he was awake throughout and was back out of hospital the next day so if you’re not a fanny, you’ll be fine

Mind, starting the transfer window early can’t be good for some people’s health 3 days in and some people I’m seeing seem to think it’s ending tonight. And if people are going to read every link that Chelsea have, it’ll be a long summer. They want to sign fucking everyone, man. They’re just a player churn factory

Racist.

is he any good on a karaoke machine?

Bet you any money Diego will have no bother getting a ticket compared to some of the clientele on here 😀

Don't ask Wykiki to fix it!

I hope you’re feeding those greys rat poison?

In another months long op. They've just detonated the equivalent of 1100 kg of TNT on the seabed beside the main supports for Putin's "baby" Kerch bridge. Bridge isn't down (yet) but is a bit poorly. Slava Ukraine.

Car in front hit a pheasant the other week on way up to the borders, Mrs was somewhat upset, now there's a thick bird to rival pigeons, can fly but prefers to be a pedestrian, even when the cunts do fly it's like at 3ft altitude. Stupid foreign cunts. (actually maybe that's the problem and they look the wrong way 🤷‍♂️)