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Early indications that Israel walked away with the public vote in tonight's semi-final, which could make Saturday night a rather tasty bit of television... 😬

Aye you can tell by how fat I've become in all these years of waiting. Real waist of time.

Last day of work and then I'm hopping on a plane to...England. Great. 28 hours on planes and 10 in airports, just fucking kill me now.

My mate is a lumberjack so last Christmas I got him a watch. An’ a log.

Omegawd. Can you swatch the topic please.

Speaking of time travel, I heard a great joke next week.

They have stollen the league. Sad.

I'll not show you the expected points table for the Bundesliga for this season because you all find it so upsetting, but suffice to say THEY'VE ABSOLUTELY STOLEN THE CUNT.

I get the feeling that aimaad has been waiting for this pun theme his whole life.

Great run from them. Still a way off the great Milan side for league games u beaten though

One of my daughter’s friends has been kicked out tonight, so we’re arranging emergency beds* and related palaver so the poor lass can sleep with a roof over her tonight. What kind of cunt kicks a 16yr old lass out on the street, ffs? *Guess who’s kipping on the fucking sofa tonight…

Breaks Benfica's record from the 60's

2 each right at the end of injury time, still unbeaten

Just watched the first episode of The thick of it as I missed it first time round. I appreciate politics jumped the shark a long time ago, but it makes it even funnier

I love John Carpenter. He did a show at the Tyne Theatre a few years back playing the soundtracks to all of his own movies live in stage with his son. One of the best gigs I've been to. I may or may not have paid for VIP tickets to meet him and get a couple of vinyls signed 😂

OG from a corner for Bayer

Diving twaterini. One just went down because the ball touched his head.

Will be interesting to see how they fare next season with CL fixture congestion. Especially if they get a few inujuries

Sounds like they're owed some bad luck tbh. Fuck them!

6:30 is the best time actually; hands down.

They didn’t concede a single pen in the league all season

Another pen to Roma, ref didn’t give it but VAR told him to take a look. Harsh. Scored . 2-2 on agg 🫣