Billy Castell

I wonder if he still uses a plate for the fringe? Or if toonpants has been on a camping holiday with him?

I'll probably watch the sailing, then theblind judo. I had to listen to Radio 1 extra at work. Jesus, it is utter wank. At least my shift ended before King Wigga Westwood was due on.

What was his favoutite cup-a-soup?

Will the extracts be in a brochure? The key difference between Kuqi and Owen is Kuqi has had to work to get a career in football, whereas Owen has been quite a gifted player, but taken the wages and the status for granted. Add to that the fact that Kuqi has had to flee a civil war, and you can see why Kuqi appreciates all he's got. Owen's natural ability (in his younger days), meant he got the adulation and money early in life. Anyway, even though I don't support Newcastle, the way Owen seems to have happily trousered the daft wages you gave him without any hint of feeling sorry that he was injured all the time annoys me.

I wish my brother-in-law's missus would wear a burqa. There's a reason that bitchy control freak managed to have a kid with a blind man..........

I was working at a nightclub in Exeter that had Callum Best making a guest appearance. He's pretty tall, looks like he keeps in shape, and is going bald, but all the slags were hanging round him like flies round a turd because he was a 'celebrity'. That must be up there for shitness.

Correct. One of my favourite films. Working for Sodexo is like that, with the tedium and paperwork.

Are you sure it's me? Yes I know it is you, I have your finger prints and DNA all over the surfaces of the room. And you would be naive to think that the BCG injection only protected you against TB...................I have already said too much, and I must liase with the Department for Information Retreval.

Why are you at that location Citizen Parky? You realise we're monitoring your movements and communications, and they are becoming increasingly concerning to us. The senior members of the inner party believe that you would be safer if you stayed at home tomorrow. It is a dangerous world out there, and we care about your health and safety.

She got utterly minced. The arrogance of some of the 'No' campaigners has been pretty awful. I do find her slightly attractive, which is a bit odd.

Judging by that picture, she's robbed Bobby George's house as well.

One of these pricks is apparently my dad's cousin.

Hopefully, this will blow a hole in Villa's form, and they'll take a bullet for Blackburn. Fingers crossed that the stand-in is as competent as Alan Partridge. Houllier should quit. I don't know if it is down to high levels of stress, a bad diet, genetics or some combination of the above, but this kind of job can't help.

With Mario Kempes, whois actually a woman???!!!

The Albert Docks were shit when I went as part of my post-grad. Nice buildings ruined by being full of overpriced tourist shit like plates with pictures of Stevie G, and nightclubs/resturants that are trying too hard.

Will his coffin be made out of gold foil, and carried on a silver platter? And will he be enbalmed in a shit nutty chocolate paste? Sorry.

I'm sure this one is on CSI. This thread manages to be simultainiously hilarious and creepy. These are indeed Paul Wyn's dream women. And if they have a plumbing system built in so you can make them piss Carling............well..............he'd probably be in heaven.

It will be a complete anti-climax, so to speak, and be someone like Keith Andrews.

Not so much a joke, but when on holiday in New Zealand I found an old book from the 70's with celebrities and their favourite recipes. Elton John was in it.................and so was Karen Carpenter. I wish I had bought it.

They'd have to shout though

Black is very slimming, too. Or have a Gay Pride march in this area wearing hijabs and mankinis. Stopping off at the Finsbury Park Mosque to spread the love there as well of course. Followed by a float with 'Nuts babes' posing topless. Basically, do anything to wind up any Islamic loony without going all EDL/BNP. Yeah cause all that is just playful like... Ricule the bearded twats, rather than have fist fights and try to 'deport the darkies and rag heads' (i.e. anyone who looks a bit foreign). Once you break the spell of fear people have of Islamic extremism and laugh in their faces, they have nothing. Of course, if Muslims who are against all the militantcy going on joined in the fun then the war of civilisations the taliban fanboys want will fade away quicker.

Careful, you're starting to sound like a scouser there Stevie, with that sense of self-importance about your home city To be fair to you, the only thing from Sunderland I can think of is Steve Cram, Boro is ICI and Hartlepool have Jeff Stelling, my dad and the monkey.

Black is very slimming, too. Or have a Gay Pride march in this area wearing hijabs and mankinis. Stopping off at the Finsbury Park Mosque to spread the love there as well of course. Followed by a float with 'Nuts babes' posing topless. Basically, do anything to wind up any Islamic loony without going all EDL/BNP.

If Bruce gets much fatter, then he'd better not be in a room with Alan Brazil. Their gravitational fields will ensure they collide together and form a black hole of footballing shitness. And if Allardyce and JFK turn up, we'll have what is known as a supermassive twat hole.

He probably would (see 'Villa St. James'). He should not have been sacked, at least not until the end of the season when things can be reviewed and there is time to bring someone else in etc. The word on the street is that Kean is letting senior players like Samba dictate training etc., and none of the players think he has any backbone or ability at all. So it is chaos behind the scenes and the Indian dickheads are incapable of sorting it out.