Billy Castell

Blackburn will go down. We're finished, done and I can see us staying down for a very long time. Proof that Indians cannot run a football club and should stick to what they are good at: moustaches, cricket, shit films with dancing, food and loud prtoests involving effigy burning. The Coventry game was good though. They deserved to win 2-1, retained possesion pretty well, and Marlon King had a brilliant game. The only problems Coventry had were when Milwall ran at the defence on the counter, and an inability to take on the fullbacks, and pass it around a bit too much. There were about 10 or so chav teenagers trying to start something with the Milwall fans to prove they have a Penis, but the stewards and the police dealt with it quickly.

Blackburn Rovers??? Hell, even some bloke from the local takeaway could do a better job than the bunch of Indian conmen who own us.

Hope not, I'm shit at that fighting lark. Don't want to lose my looks either . I don't pretend to be a toughguy.

Well this is the internet equivilent of walking in on a conversation you wish you hadn't. Reminds me of when I was at Bedford College. Walked through some doors to hear some girl telling another "....and then he stuck the ice cube right up my cunt."

The pictures are on the packets here too. As a non-smoker, I'd have assumed that B & H Silver were 'cleaner' than B & H Gold, or that 'light' cigarettes were sort of like diet coke.

Fuck El Classico I'm going to see my first live game in years................... Coventry City vs. Milwall.

Well if Real Madrid can get local government to bail them out...............

bump! This should be pinned.

I work in a place with loads of Bell's, Johnny Walker Black/red/green/gold/blue Label, Bushmills (various), Talisker, Oban and Singleton whiskey. Any you'd happily lose your job for stealing?

Is it just me or is that baby a genetic mix up of................. ?

Jeremy Kyle should cut his bollocks off with an envelope. The girls are complete mongs too, as he is clearly the worst kind of unemployed person who fathers kids and then runs off. Once is bad enough, but 9 times?? Surely the thick bitches round there would work out he's bad news.

New Arsenal away shirt, as seen at the 2.30 at Ascot.

The Furred Man-Richard Keyes invents a time machine, goes back to post-war Austria and gets involved in selling fake pills, whilst faking his own death. He is chased by an old friend from The News of The World who has been listening to his phone calls. The Twat Returns-Christiano Ronaldo re-signs for Manchester United. Animal Attrition-Romantic comedy starring Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman. Smart arse radio presenter Ashley has a shit love life that leads her to conduct brutal experiements on male animals and people to work out where she is going wrong in her life. She then meets Hugh Jackman, a butcher who sells her cast offs to a Chinese restaurant......... Runaway Durie-Former Scottish international Gordon Durie walks out on his family and disappears. The family have to piece together clues to find out if he is part of a conspiracy to rig a high profile trial. The Lives of Otters-A lonely Stasi agent spends years spying on a family of otters for a minister who wants to shag Mrs. Otter. The Human Milliband-Two brothers get kidnapped by a mad scientist whilst visiting constituencies that have upcoming by-elections. The scientist then surgically attatches them together with Anne Widdecombe and John Schneider, and then forces them to take Prime Ministers' Questions.

You're the 2nd highest poster on this thread you tit. If you don't like it then fuck off. You make no constructive contribution on this thread, and you're worse than Kevin for being an obnoxious irritating cunthole. I would say go and thumb in your impotent cock up your wife's dusty twat, but I'm not the sort to be so personal and rude about someone's family.

The digital switchover has taken place in the midlands, and it seems that my digibox has decided not to work. BBC 2, BBC News, and all the BBC radio stations have all been removed. That is, the channel is listed, but there is no signal and my digibox has a symbol in the corner suggesting it's about to be deleted. Other channels such as ITV and Sky News are unaffected. I have a non-digital TV, and probably a non-digital aerial on the roof if that might have something to do with it. Any ideas what is going on?

If it's Kate, you break open the coffin and give her one right there in Westminster Abbey. If it is William, you get Elton John to re-write another of his hits, and then sacrifice him on the altar for the Diana version of Candle in the wind. I wonder if bookies will be offering odds of if/when they divorce? That Kate seems like a right Heather Mills type somehow.

Saw an ad for a 'behind the scenes' show following the chefs, cleaners etc., and some voiceover of who I guess knows Kate said something like "She always wanted to be a princess, and she told me she'll marry Prince William." Hmmmmmm, even Jenny Bond would find that awkward to spin.

Welcome to my world. At least people will remember Carroll played for you.

Was Floyd up for doing the same? Fair enough if he was.

The fucking BBC have wormed their way into the Monarchy's anus in good time. Soon enough Huw Edwards will be able to tell if either of the couple have tonsilitis. It seems odd to celebrate a marriage between an inbred and a ruthless upper middle class social climber I've never met. I'd celebrate with a Russian themed party, complete with kids with red arm bands and semi-automatic water pistols to fire at parents dressed up as the royal family.

Anyone have any clue whether that coward Mayweather will face up to the Pacman? Or is hestill demanding $200 trillion, a blowjob off the Pope, Paquiao to have 300 drugs tests, and a solid gold rocket car? The world wants to see it happen, but Floyd seems to be throwing out new demands to stop it.

I bet King Henry II was very disappointed.

Those are some seriously shit tattoos.

Simple really, just change one word in a film title for an entirely new film. For example........... Whitney Got Fingered: Police raid Whitney Houston's house and discover she is a user/dealer in crack. Sophia Loren plays the pervy cop who performs the cavity search at the station. Frocky: Ageing, punch drunk ex-boxer has to come to terms with his suppressed transvestitism, and struggle to make to the top in the World Drag Queen Championships in Atlantic City. The Phantom Penis: CGI heavy Sci-Fi based upon a hermaphradite's struggle for a gender and identity in a galaxy far, far away whilst some war goes on or something. The Phantom Penis: Adventure romp which is based upon broadcaster Stuart Hall's quest to buy a new car. Executive Derision: Documentary about Gordon Brown's time as Prime Minister. The human Centrepiece: Obsure, surreal, abstract and strange film about arty French types who like to have cute children sitting on their coffee tables. 55 Days in Filey: Real time, unedited footage of life in the Yorkshire coastal town. Possibly the most boring film ever made.

Would Bishop Auckland and Spennymoor Utd be localish to Newcastle? They'll probably be around this sort of level, and my grandad played for them in the 1950's. Anyhow, I've taken a shine to West Allotment Celtic. It sounds like you can watch a game then buy some runner beans afterwards. Can't imagine the pitch being too good though.