Howmanheyman

Fat Sam walking into his local in Marbella next week.....

I'm pretty sure he was from Seaton Delaval, just like the fish which, when you look at their writing styles and content, starts to make a bit of sense. (Obviously the knight, unlike the fish, knows what the punters want so makes his posts a bit easier to read and throws the odd NUFC chant in his pieces).

Coast boy would be lost in the Golly Wog, MF.

Too late, TP. The scammer's already released the perverted act with you the star of the show..... (It's bad). As an added bonus, (I didn't ask, he sent one anyway) here's one of CT watching Denise Welch on loose women before he starts his taxi shift.....

I thought he was a Liverpool fan? I swear to god these Scouse professional footballers change their boyhood team history at the drop of a hat when it suits them.

I thought our name might've been on the cup that year as I was young and naive and we had a decent side and should've been good enough to give it a go, we did finish 8th. Gutted when these put us out at home. McAllister was very underrated and probably still would be had he not had a spell at Liverpool which instantly makes him more worthy for some strange media reasons, even going back to his Leicester days he had that but of class. Leeds won the title in their second season back up.

"I am the still wandering spirit of the poor bastard budgie that had the misfortune to end up in boldon with CT and now rests in pieces in the ground under his rancid outdoor settee. TBD, well done with my hawk cousins, I hope they get the chance of a great life unlike the purgatory I had living with multi-hobby man who fed me the wrong bait and killed me off all because he couldn't be arsed to Google my diet. Tell wor lass the money's in the tin and I love her and my little budgies."

Does this Felix lad say stuff like 'el catedral en la montaña', Diego? If so I think he has an English cousin...... '¡Hola, mis apostadores leales!'

Is there some sort of graphs for the 'errrmm, well, errrmm' comments from Charlotte? (Asking for wykiki).

Minds? Box?

Apparently shite?

I'd do it but instead of a zoom call or whatever they can talk to me on the phone and put a pic on their screen like this while I blow them out of the water answering their questions on NUFC......

Why? You'd think they'd be yewsed to losing their absolute, beloved favourite evah star strikers to Palace. Pretty sure Gabbiadini and Sewpa Kev left them for selhurst park.

Of course Tyne and Wear exists. We had to get them to pay for the airport and the mag-etro after all.

The second division aristocrats, the Barcelona of the EFL know the real deal when they see it, their players, yes, our second player to get a call up to the actual Brazil squad, not so much.

Bizarre article, brings Bolton into it, said there might be reasons why it's better for them to remain in greater Manchester but says he couldn't be arsed to look into it. Sums them up, especially with Brexit.

MLFs score better goals on a Sunday morning down the park than any motd contenders, they're even better goals if it's a mag team they're playing. They're truly awesome all round.

DLYP

Jackie Oatley.

Alreet, we got it the first time.

Next season it's Carabao cup Miggy.