Howmanheyman

Chill, Joe's on the case.

He's great.

Lee Ryder: "Alan, I got some bedsheets and a duvet from Argos the other day, but there's some stains on the sheet. Should I just ask for a refund if they offer a replacement?" Wendy Taylor-Blonde: "Lee, I'm being serious! No questions!" Alan Pardew: "Nah, Wends, darlin', I'll take this wan. Me and Mrs Pards were in a simla baht the atha day, we was all for getting sam cash back in the bank but Argos weren't having none of it. Take the mannie, pal and dahn't take none of their shit." Lee Ryder: "Ah also bought a cheap Lyon shirt in sportsdirect but then seen on BT sports that it must be last years top. Shall I ask for my money back anarl?" Alan Pardew: "Lee, trust me, there's a wide range of quality sports apparel in sportsdirect at really competive pwices, just eckshtange it fer samthin' else. mate, you know it makes sense. Besides I think there's sam sort of law where you can't get yer money back offof French shirts."

I wasn't there but all I heard was them on the stream I was watching. No doubt at all that our lot had a good chant as well.

http://www.fiveyearplanfanzine.co.uk/news/4675-crystal-palace-0-3-newcastle-analysis-ratings-from-selhurst-park.html? "Eesh! That was unexpected! Here is ark Gardiner's match report from Newcastle's smash and grab win at Selhurst." "Tony Pulis’s team selection and tactics came under question on a filthy day when Palace gave a barely adequate Newcastle team a comfortable victory in a game where we looked like having a decent shot at a point at least. Also was funny seeing a Southern hack ask Pardew if he thought Noocarsuwl could match last season. http://www.themag.co.uk/video-replay/london-press-ask-pardew-if-he-can-match-last-season-video-interview-alan-pardew-post-match-palace/?

Never really had the chance to watch it to be fair, I wouldn't recognise a character if they stood at my front door. When it comes to a lot of tv I'm like one of these old judges who don't know who Gazza is or Michael Jackson etc. Crushed dried Chilli are handy but I tend to buy real chillies and just keep them in the freezer and use them as and when. Even when frozen you can slice them a bit at a time if you don't need too much.

snap.

How many goal line clearances has he made then? As much as Simpson? (He looks much better with some PL experience behind him )

Probably be a right pair of tits on tonight as well.

Am sure we'll get indepth analysis and loads of coverage tonight on MOTD, mind. Very pleased about our performance but I expect fuck all from MOTD bar the goals.

Why?

Errrrrrrrrrrr remarkable!!!! From To RIP

On sky earlier on Merson thought SAFC would stay up as they had some good home games still to play but they had to start today against Norwich.

Very professional performance in shit conditions where it would've been easy for it to be a leveller between the sides. Very good.

Trying to get a third.

Would like to see us increase our goal difference as these are canny shite. Cabaye misses a sitter! The conditions are awful though so not getting too het up about it. HBA on.

If it's 2-0 at half time i'm putting money on 2-1.

Commentators not very enthusiastic. Obviously game not going quite to script.

fuck sake, man. pedantic fucka! Get in!!! Will be a BIG disappointment if we don't win now!

Mind Cardiff have looked shit which is reassuring as we have them in the cup.

We're a better side than these and we've a good record home & away against these. Will be a disappointment if we don't get at least a point here.

Old Chinese John Gibson look-a-like man say, "Man who stand all day with hand in pockets, feel cocky."

"Boris Johnson was today spotted on a bicycle riding through London." "Lady Gaga was tonight present at the premiere of 'Gosh, Notting Hill and a Funeral' starring Hugh Grant and Colin Firth at Covent Garden." "The word 'Selfie' has made it into the Oxford English dictionary it was announced today." "Nigella Lawson today claimed in court that the drugs she took was to help her get through filming semi-pornagraphic scenes in her new BBC 'Jiggling breasts and a spatula in Notting Hill' cookery series." ".......And finally, seven people were killed and eighty three severly injured when the Tyne Bridge collapsed today in the North-East of England. Viewers in the Tyne-Tees TV region can find out more after the weather from their own TV newsdesk. Goodnight from ITV news in London."

Is that based on the film?