Jimbo

fixed

Not fit for fish and chips tbh

Daily Mail Keegan told to start winning, or it's a role upstairs EXCLUSIVE by MATT LAWTON - Last updated at 22:55pm on 13th March 2008 Newcastle are becoming increasingly jittery about their Barclays Premier League future and are demanding that Kevin Keegan improves results in the next two games. Sportsmail understands that billionaire owner Mike Ashley is concerned about Keegan's apparent inability to guide his side clear of relegation danger and is prepared to make his second change of manager. Newcastle have taken just two points from the eight League matches they have played since Keegan's return and have fallen dramatically down the table. They could be in the bottom four before they even play at Birmingham City on Monday, with only their opponents, Fulham and Derby below them. The slide has forced Ashley to consider asking Keegan to step aside already and take a position in the St James' Park boardroom, allowing a new manager to come in for a salvage operation. Dennis Wise, recently appointed executive director (football), would be the obvious choice to take over after his success at Leeds and with Millwall, whom he guided to the FA Cup Final and into Europe. Terry Venables is an alternative short-term option, but on Thursday night Newcastle chairman Chris Mort denied that such a move for Venables is on the cards and he backed Keegan — following a vote of confidence after Newcastle's last home defeat. Mort said: 'Kevin has come to a club that didn't change its manager in the middle of the season because things were going well. Kevin came in knowing it was going to be difficult to turn it round.' However, for months the St James' Park hierarchy denied any intention of removing previous manager Sam Allardyce and, if Keegan fails to secure precious points in Newcastle's next two games — away to Birmingham, followed by Fulham at home the following Saturday — sources believe Ashley will press the panic button. A defeat in the Midlands could leave Newcastle in the drop zone and make their game against Keegan's former club Fulham vitally important. If Newcastle return from St Andrew's without a point, Ashley may conclude that it is too big a risk to leave Keegan in charge of a must-win game. After investing more than £250million in the club, Ashley will be determined to protect his investment. Keegan remains upbeat and on Thursday night insisted his players have a 'nine-game season' to secure their status. Although he would not welcome a new role, his £3m-a-year salary is a considerable compensation and it has enabled him to resolve issues in his business life. Keegan has denied rumours of a bust-up with Aussie striker Mark Viduka, who has played only once under the ex-England boss.

Beleaguered boss Kevin Keegan has effectively been given a two-match ultimatum to salvage Newcastle's season, according to reports. The Daily Mail claims that, with Keegan having failed to inspire a single victory since his much-heralded return to St James' Park in January, owner Mike Ashley is ready to press 'the panic button'. Ahead of Monday's vital fixture with fellow strugglers Birmingham, the Magpies are on the verge of falling into the relegation zone. Ashley has become so concerned by their plight that he is said to be 'prepared to make his second change of manager' should the situation not improve rapidly. 'If Keegan fails to secure precious points in Newcastle's next two games - away to Birmingham, followed by Fulham at home the following Saturday - sources believe Ashley will press the panic button,' claims the Mail. 'The slide has forced Ashley to consider asking Keegan to step aside already and take a position in the St James' Park boardroom, allowing a new manager to come in for a salvage operation. 'Dennis Wise, recently appointed executive director (football), would be the obvious choice to take over after his success at Leeds and with Millwall, whom he guided to the FA Cup final and into Europe. 'Terry Venables is an alternative short-term option.'

No account of fixture list. What evidence of good tactics did Allardyce show? What evidence of good buys? I have concerns but on the whole I disagree with your view. Under Allardyce we were not beating teams we should have been beating comfortably, under Keegan we are getting stuffed by teams we don't expect to beat.

Isn't Easter the traditional time to string up the Messiah ? I'll pop down to B&Q for some timber and some 6" nails.

Raikkonen, I think Hamilton will believe his own hype too much this season.

Kevin Keegan says that Mark Viduka can provide his Newcastle United team with the spark they have lacked in recent weeks. Fitness issues have restricted the Australia striker to one substitute appearance since Keegan’s return to St James’ Park in January, but he is expected to be involved in the Barclays Premier League match away to Birmingham City on Monday. “If he’d been fit and available, Mark is the kind of player you want on your teamsheet every week,” Keegan said. “You always want your best players available, but forwards who can score you goals and win you matches and who have experience, you need them especially. If we can have a fit Mark Viduka for the last nine games, that’ll be a huge bonus for us.” Keegan dismissed reports that Viduka’s fitness had prompted a dispute between the pair. “I get on really well with Mark and I’ve never had a bust-up with any player at this club, and that’s the truth. “He’s got this fantastic ability to score goals in tight situations and to score goals at important times. That’s what wins you football matches. You saw Fernando Torres the other night score a goal [for Liverpool] when a lot of players would have taken another touch, and Mark comes into that category, too. He doesn’t need a lot of space, he can do the unexpected.”

With their benifactor, Brooks Mileson seriously ill, Gretna look to be disapearing off the footballing map before the weekend, if Mike Ashley dropped dead do you think we could find ourselves in a similar situation ?

I can see it resembles a cow pat but I can't see any jizz in his hair ?

Actually perhaps that should have been: "you bweed wike Mywee"

"you bleed like Mylee"

Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill is planning an £8million summer swoop for Newcastle star James Milner. Winger Milner, 22, has threeyears left on his contract at St James' Park after signing a new deal last summer. But O'Neill believes he can lure the England Under-21 star away - especially if struggling Newcastle go down. Milner spent a successful year on loan at Villa in 2005/2006.

We were this shit under Allardyce, but we were this shit versus the likes of Derby and Wigan.

If only we'd spunked £12M up the wall on the likes of Alves in our desperation to sign someone.....anyone. Aye, at least we'd not be moaning about Alan Smith

Thank god we didn't waste any money in January.........

You aren't the only one......

FYP

KEY MEASURES Delay 2p rise in fuel duty for six months 6% increase in alcohol tax - with 2% annual rise for next four years 4p on pint of beer, 3p on cider, 14p on wine, 55p on spirits 11p on packet on 20 cigarettes, 4p on five cigars £950 higher first year rate of road tax for most polluting cars Increase in green tax on flights Winter fuel payment up to £250 for over-60s and to £400 for over-80s Require supermarkets to charge for plastic bags if they do not scrap them More cash to tackle child poverty Help with rising energy costs for poorer families

Provided you don't kiss me, 20 years with Brian Clough by Duncan Hamilton Winner of the William Hill Sports book of the year 2007 award "Look Duncan, you're a journalist. One day you'll write a book about this club. Or, more to the point, about me. So you may as well know what I'm thinking and save it up for later when it won't do any harm to anyone."

Lidl's didn't sell Buckfast so we made the dog piss in this bottle.

When does he want picking up ? I'm willing to make a 500mile detour....

What a brilliant album

A red Austin Metro 1.1, without doubt the worst piece of junk I have ever owned, it is rather alarming as a novice motorist when you get overtaken by your own rear wheel.....