bobbyshinton

Without google Mass media believer

Little vegetable, on a hill, sick as a parrot, the veggies want to eat you cos you're a carrot.

Little vegetable, on a hill, sick as a parrot, the veggies want to eat you cos you're a carrot.

sorry I might have used this before A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" . . . . . .. . . . . . . Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."

I move between sweet 16 Ringo Starr 2 little boys Rolf harris My way by Mr S

teach me to play guitar for fuck sake. Mind I have fingers like sausages and the movement of paddy K.

What do you want? I have some in. The G Man - a punch bag, Renton seems worn out Meenzer - an ice cream maker Cath - Indusrial size cat litter, ouderless Renton - Gum shield and self defence manual Alex - bad of veg and a smoothie maker Shint - joke book

UK No 1's 1971 - 1975 whats yours

cannot be beaten. yum yum

Don't apologise to me for putting a joke up, I'm not the joke polis. In fact I wish everybody would ( a jokeathon) But you should apologise for putting that joke up

The music makes it cracking

what for? where now

When 2 deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on penis one time." . . . . . . . . . . . . "If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis....fifty times

Mackem water skiing

doddle mate leave a couple of tea towels in the bottom (of fridge )

I've won. I would like to thank everyone who made it possible, me mam, me dad all me familey and mostly my religion, shinto. I thank you

thats nigh on woor hoose

say no more

Why would I want any of that 80's shite on it. That reminds me I think I'll watch the Wedding Singer now. everybody hurts REM or what have you done to make you feel proud M People

very small % of my posts are smeeagain. Thats the N-O mentality

It's a disgrace what the NHS pay nowadays like. Seriously though, the place will be full of football tops - mainly Rangers and Celtic ones. Lanzarote is meant to be quite nice. It's good rhyming slang for 'Totty' too. Are you taking your Toon top btw? You'll never see me in a replica top unless I'm playing 5 a side. Lanzarote is SHIT btw, there's nothing to do there and it's a volcanic wasteland. At least Tenerife has distractions like Mount Teide. Oh and last year I went whale watching and that was interesting. And unlike that shit tip Greece you like, you are allowed to flush toilet paper. I've got a place in Tenerife. Never go there don't like it.

bahh

When does yours go up and to what extent? The Shints, 2 weeks before. Tree and rasteful indoor decs. People who do the outside are a pack of tits, but they cheer me up, so well done. The G mans house decs like Abacus balls. Rentons, like the princess's castle Wacky, like brough park. Cat, pussy all over. Meenzer, like times square (newcastle) careful when there it's like a ice rink