bobbyshinton

A bloke had just been laid off from work, life was grim. He was standing on the railing of the Tyne bridge getting ready to jump off.# He happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below just by Tuxedo. He was ashamed and thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing. He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life. "Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind." "Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "My arsehole itches, and I can't scratch it!" ...thats like the limbless lass one

set the dog on them

The G man eats fruit salad with 1/2 teaspoon of curry in it.

Had a few Lex. They supply road tax and servicing, you may have to pay for knackered tyres (based on tread left) Also supplied RAC support. Paid through the nose for it via income tax code

Very interesting stuff, but what do I do with it, read the reviews? or can I download the bootlegs, if so how

No shit, you're bitter

I'm a memebr of one, only use it for socialising, meals couple of drinks. If I do gamble it is on the roulette, 50p a go. Most I have lost about £25.00 most I have won about £30.00 so no big thing. Anyone been fleeced or broke the bank

Where do you live like, Travis Bickle? Have to admit when I lived in Bloomsbury, there was constant late-night siren noise. Maybe that was because it was near Euston Fire station, or King's Cross was just the other way. I think ambulances more than police though. I live in York near the city centre, so its all the emergency services going out to all the villages, Plus theyve got to attend to first year students who think they can drink theyre own body weight in absythinh or however its spelled i googled your spelling and it fell about laughing

we used to do penny for the guy ( a laaaaaaang time ago) best place was outside Simpsons doss hoose Waaaalsend. Pissed old gadgies giving you hand fulls of change.

hard currency for tabs

Sweets, even though I don't know him. He is going to knock on my door and ask for a treat. Fucking Hell Halloween, parents get a grip. They are pulling them out the bath, do not make it easy for the sick bastards

was her name bob

Should be only allowed to be used in organised displays and not sold privately. Fucking pests banging all night, scaring the fuck out of pets n old folks. causing injury. My favourite firework? Can't beat a good rocket. discuss

Class idea Do it quick! Friends? I've found it, PP's theory was correct

I posted me yesterdays on N-O I know you wish I did that every day here goes, Bloke walks in a pub and orders 10 double whiskies. barman puts them on the bar. the bloke downs the lot in about 20 seconds. The barman says "fuck me, you drank them quick" to which the bloke replies "so would you if you had what ive got". the barman says "why what have you got?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the bloke says " about 12 pence!" ha ha

theiving bastards, was not even smutty Do I need to repost or have I breached regulations?

The strange person who takes photos of total strangers. Why don't all take a photo now and post it. Mine is going to be from my office window.

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, my Private Part died today, and I am very sad." Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences." The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas." But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, " I told you yesterday that my Private Part died." "Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" . . . . . . . . . . "Well," he replied, "Today's the viewing."

But I take pics of peoples' tattoos in the street. Do you ask them if you can? you're the bastard

apartments

From BBC site Sisters arrested for abusing fans A twin sister pop duo were arrested for launching a foul-mouthed tirade at football fans during a derby match at Sheffield's Hillsborough stadium. Francine and Nicola Gleadall, 18, hit back at away fans who jeered as they performed at half-time in Saturday's Sheffield Wednesday-Barnsley match. One of the singers shouted obscenities which were amplified around the ground, while the other flicked V-signs. The pair were arrested and issued with £80 fixed penalties, police confirmed. The identical twins were at Hillsborough to sing their single - a cover of Slade's 1970s hit Cum on Feel the Noize - in front of the 28,687 crowd. 'Threatening behaviour' But Barnsley supporters began hurling abuse after the stadium announcer introduced them as "two girls from Sheffield". A South Yorkshire police spokeswoman said: "Two 18-year-old local women entertainers were arrested by police during a Championship football match in Sheffield on Saturday. "Both received £80 fixed penalties for public order offences." A joint statement from Sheffield Wednesday and South Yorkshire police said: "We operate a policy of enforcement against threatening behaviour in the ground to prevent escalation into more serious offending." The rest of game, which Sheffield Wednesday won 2-1, passed without incident, police added.

I agree it just not worth it, You lose out on thousands as soon as you take the bastard thing out of the showroom...best to wait for depreciation I always do, never bought a new car like... Joy-rides and hub-cap removal, on the other hand... ha ha how did you guess? BTW Im not one of those scallies I know. Scallies, Andy McNab Andy Mcnab, what's he got to do with scousers?? Nicholls

I'm here

In the Old days Sunday was a dead day, no shops open, restricted drinking. Is there places in Wales and Scotland for example still like that and do you live in a place like that. Me Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalsend never closes, it's a modern day Vegas

A bit rude / offensive A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the dressing room door. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten. For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says," You know, you could go a little further if you want." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch. "HELL NO," he cries, "you've got teeth down there!" "Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "there's no such thing as teeth down there!" "Yes, there are," he says, "my Mom told me so." "No, there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek. "No, I'm sorry" he says. "My Mom already told me that all women have teeth down there." "Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, "LOOK,I DON'T have any teeth down there." The boy takes a good long look and replies, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Well, after seeing the condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!" that's a bit rude