bobbyshinton

A man walks into the bogs in the Trent and begins using one of the urinals. He looks to his left and sees a very short man peeing also. Suddenly, the short man looks up at the taller man, and the taller man is completely embarrassed about staring at the smaller man's penis. "Sorry," says the taller man. "I'm not gay or anything, but you have the longest penis I've ever seen, especially on a man so small!" "Well," says the little man, "That's because I'm a Leprechaun! ALL Leprechauns have penises this size!" The taller man says, "Incredible! I'd give anything if mine were that long." "Well, what with me being a Leprechaun and all, I can give you your wish! If you let me take you into that stall over there and screw you, I'll give you your wish!" "Gee," says the man, "I don't know about that----Aw hell with it, OK!" Soon, the Leprechaun is behind the taller man, just humping away. "Say," says the Leprechaun, "How old are you, son?" Finding it difficult to turn with the Leprechaun humping him so ferociously, the tall man says over his shoulder, "Uh-Uh, Thirty-two..." "Imagine that, " says the little man, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Thirty-two and still believes in Leprechauns!" was that funny?

Does one preclude the other? Newbiggen

I know that with office / shop security, but does that apply to the Law cameras?

Stumbled in there after the Fulham game, what the fuck Loads of blokes dancing with each other. Jesus I nearly left me pint. Sad thing is I knew a lot of them dear me I'm shocked

They are all over now, some discreet ones. i.e near the punch bowl, sandyford road and many more

I was opposed to it when they first started popping up all over, but now I'm in favour. If you are doing nowt wrong they are on your side. Lasses are safer walking the streets (not that way ) There are not many crimes committed in Newcastle city centre which are not picked up on camera. I don't think you could commit a crime say outside the Dog and Parrot then get across to the Haymarket without getting picked out / up.

Better with the tramp than the church tbh. Nar they normally come out iwth how good looking the bairn is, just like the mother etc. the guests and family are normally in a good mood and hand over money for cups of tea for the poor lad. It's a good catchment area for them. If that doess't work, pinch the plate

Pud and the skinheads We want Pud

Fucking Arseholes

I'm not quite sure what's going on, the mods have gone from "Don't like it? Tough, it's crucial to the forum" to "OK, if it goes, it goes, I didn't care about it anyway". I can only assume Mr Admin has made a royal visit to the forums, seen the mods acting like rampaging chimps and overruled them. It's even starting to look like people wont have to have their thread rubber stamped by some emotionally crippled adolescent before it appears in the NUFC forum Should we all go back for a day, remind them what it was like pre change

Has he put weight on in that picture, something is different

just talking to my mate about going to the dergs. Never been but I have only heard good stories about the nights there. Have a good one, put a shilling on No 6 in the second race for me

Do you have it in you or have you been a victim. Saw two arseholes yesterday at the lights at the bottom of the Bigg Market arguing away, holding all the traffic up. Everyone was just standing laughing at them. Me I rant in the car to myself, never got in the violent car chase hitting people level

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'." Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'." The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style. The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy replies, "No Father, . . . . . . . . . . . . . I think its just the reflection off her shoes" whats funny aboot that

used to be an old money making trick for tramps.

Do you have any? I don't touch wood

one this morning (just got in)looked like 3-4 cars. Ambulance and law in attendance

How longs a turd stay up there for then eh? waste matter, which has accumulated over week, months and even years Ridley Place is where this one hangs out

Have you taken some? Have you been in them? Are you scared they will appear on the tinternet ala Paris Hilton?

Send the buggers back! EDIT: And I was one minute too late. Never mind. I have a cd by george burdon, it is all about the north east. This is his music though not traditional. Will this help? If you send me your email I will send you home newcastle by busker

Send the buggers back! EDIT: And I was one minute too late. Never mind. I have a cd by george burdon, it is all about the north east. This is his music though not traditional. Will this help?

There were these two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through the hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her, she looks at him and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and the giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left. Would you care to do it again ?" He asks her, "Shall we ?" She eagerly replies, "Oh yes, let's! But let's change positions. . . . . . . . . . . . . This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head" think thats funny?

You can get Colonically irrigated at many pubs and clubs in Newcastle around the pink triangle. Is it not more around the brown circle?

the boozers

you can carry between 5 and 25lbs of old faecel matter in your large intestine According to an advert in the Chronicle today Anyone had one, what was it like, why did you do it.Where what and when?