bobbyshinton

A drunk was sitting at a bar when a woman stood behind him and raised her arm really high to get the bartender's attention. The drunk saw that she had very hairy armpits. The drunk yelled at the bartender, 'Get the ballerina a drink!' She got her drink and went away. Later, she returned and raised her arm again. The drunk saw her and yelled to the bartender, 'Get the ballerina another drink!' She got her drink and went away again. The bartender asked the drunk how he knew she was a ballerina when she was a stranger and had never been in the bar before. The drunk replied, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 'She's got to be a ballerina if she can lift her leg that high.'

nope much as I wanted to do it that was down the street from me old gaff !! Ah right, just as well, she was a right fat munter. Be some relation no doubt, they're all related over there fuck off munchkin

this was saturday. I was away on hols. he just thought he slept it off but has been taken to hospital from work now

Threw a glass in Blue Bamboo hit woor youngen in the heed, out like a lite. Seems a bar maid was hit by one as well. What kind of stupid cunt throws glasses about for no reason. Love to have five minutes with them Just got told he has been sent to hospital

Nicer, Fucking Nicer

how about a polish game. Krakow? That would be an experience i've seen barca v majorca barca seville

Civic centre Hancock St James china town city wall central Station (passing) Dog leap Quayside / bridges joycie museum Fenwick house bigg market grainger market Grey street greys monument northumberland street and home

Brilliant Player. Sad to hear

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully. No one answered. "All right, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . "I had to walk home."

have a good one mate

Seems there was this nasty biker riding his hawg down the icy highway one cold day in Colorado, when he spotted a cat lying in the middle of the road. The biker thought to himself, 'I'll cut that cat in two,' and he bears down on it hard. As he got closer, he suddenly realized that it's not a cat, it's a large piece of metal lying in the road. Too late! His front wheel plowed into it and he's sent flying over the handlebars onto the road at 80 MPH. Well, when he arrived in Hell, who should welcome the new arrivals but the Devil himself. As the Devil shook the (ex)biker's hand, he asked mockingly, 'So, how do you like it here?' The bad-ass biker replied, 'Man, this is one COOL place!' The old Devil was just a little miffed at this upstart, so he decided to crank up the thermostat a notch. The next day, the Devil sought out the biker and asked, 'So, how do you like it now?' Still the bad-ass biker responded by saying, 'This is great! Reminds me of those drug runs to Sonora during the hot afternoons in August.' Naturally, the Devil is only more angered, and cranked the heat up as far as it can go. The next day, Hell is as hot as it gets. The Devil again asks the biker how he liked it. Undaunted, the biker proclaimed, 'It's almost as hot as the time I beat and robbed those vacationers out in Death Valley. I love it!' Now the Devil is just plain upset, so he turned the thermostat all the way down. The next morning, he found the biker again and asked, 'OK smart-arse, how do you like it NOW?' With icicles hanging from every part of his body, the biker inquired, 'W-w-w-what h-h-hhappened, d-d-d-did the Makkkemms f-f-finally w-w-win the leaggue?'

Not me mate. The Clock 1.70 a pint.

I was there. Upstairs sitting opposite the door, with a blue jumper on. Liar

I do not think the premier league is a league where you can play youngens week in week out

This drunk staggers into a bar, bumping into customers and spilling drinks as he makes his way to the bar. The bartender sees what is going on and is pissed at the drunk when he finally makes it to the bar. "Get out of here!" says the bartender. "I gotta go to the baffroom," slurs the drunk. "I said get the hell outta here or I'll throw you out!!" yells the bartender. "I gotta go baffroom," says the drunk and starts to drop his drawers. "Hold on, hold on" says the bartender "alright, you can go to the bathroom, but afterwards you get the hell out of my bar!" The drunk agrees and stumbles off to the bathroom. After about 5 minutes, everyone hears this loud scream. Dead silence in the bar. Another loud scream-from the bathroom. The bartender and a few customers run to the bathroom. There's the drunk sitting down. "What the hell is going on?" asks the bartender. "I went, and every time I try to flush the toilet, it crushes my nuts!" says the drunk. "Why, you stupid shit!" said the bartender. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "You're sitting on my mop bucket!!"

One day a little girl was watching cartoons when a porno came through. The little girl asked her mom "What are they doing?" The girls mom said "baking a cake." Then the next day they were walking in the park and there were these people making out and the girl said "look mommy they are baking a cake!" The next day the girl says "mommy you and daddy were baking a cake last night." Her mom replied "how did you know?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The girl said "because I licked the icing off the sofa!"

Hearing a blacky sing (bird) (no not shirley Bassey) (tweety type) Smell of Fish n chips Being in the hoose when it is slashing doon of rain or snow The first pint after a hard session in the gym

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: . . . . . . . . . . . . .. ... . . . ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years later, he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. The snail says, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'What the fuck was that all about?'

This. + Get a posh lawyer you tells them to fuck off. If it's his business tho then in reality that particular fact doesn't really make a blind bit of difference. In reality he winds the business up, thus it no longer exists and cannot be sued. Great plan like. I'm sure he wants to do that Aye, nice one Shinsplints! Seriously can't believe you just suggested that. ta

We could call it 'You've Been Flamed'

This. + Get a posh lawyer you tells them to fuck off. If it's his business tho then in reality that particular fact doesn't really make a blind bit of difference. In reality he winds the business up, thus it no longer exists and cannot be sued. Great plan like. I'm sure he wants to do that Its still a scam. What i was trying to get over is that if it was a Ltd Co. The individal cannot be sued in these circumstances. If for instance the figure was 20k it would be worth his while closing and starting again in a different name. A local company went pop owing us 125k plus That company has since done a pheonix

This. + Get a posh lawyer you tells them to fuck off. If it's his business tho then in reality that particular fact doesn't really make a blind bit of difference. In reality he winds the business up, thus it no longer exists and cannot be sued.

Scam If they want the money ask for proof that they have been awarded the money by a court. Also if the lad is a small business he should be a Ltd co. then they cannot go after him. Tell him to stop fretting.

Cuba Libre? Love it but I cannot stand ice in a drink. I keep my spirit in the freezer. Anyone tried that white rum out of Tesco. Overprooof. Its lovely. Toontastic will never die just evolve into something different. A little known island, just off the coast of Trinidad. watch it you