bobbyshinton

fucking hell

I couldn't live there again. I go once or twice a month and that's enough, I'm not slagging the place I love it, but I couldn't live there full time. Northumberland arms

Net Value Vat @ 17.5% Total Charges Payments £41.70 £7.30 £49.00

I have booked rooms at the travel lodge kings cross 40 odd pound a night. Stayed the before, clean in a decent are of kings cross

Go on I'll do it. Fat Sam

Cunning way of catching birds like... Ours once brought a live frog home, minus the leg it had just mangled off it..... Needless to say, the frog was hopping mad! Smeeagain

Woors has started bringing twigs n leafs in. I think it is building a nest

Just had two women knock on me door. Asked me what kind of bread I ate. White I replied, thick sliced. Fucking lectured me for thirty minutes on the virtues and benefits of eating brown bread. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fucking Hovis Witnesses

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . wheres me tractor

Bergamo is the place to go

ta

Mating call of a Cuckoo: .......CUCKOO, CUCKOOO . . . . . . . . . . . Mating call of the OWL:.................. TWIT, TWOO, TWIT TWOO . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mating Call of the black bird:................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . GWARN LEROY BANG IT UP ME SHITTER

Let me guess, this one started out life as an Essex girl joke about a batch of kids called Wayne?

An Mackem lass goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the Mackem "10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?" Peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter, peeeter and peeeter. The Council worker asked doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Mackem "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout Peeeter, YER DINNER'S READY,or Peeeter GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the Mackem... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "I just use their surnames"

i say this but have a good weekend. If you can't be good be careful

they've told me

A Waaaaalsend couple go to the doctors. the wife has a broken nose, two black eyes and several of her teeth have been knocked out. The doctor asks whats happened here then? The husband says my wife was going through the change. The doctor says thats not what happens when you go through the change. The husband replies, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it is when its in my fucking pocket

Basic rated on second job earnings at 23%

wife gets naked in front of her hubby and asks " tell me honey , what turns you on ? is it my beautiful face or my sexy body ? " He looks her up and down for a while and replies , . . . . . . . . . . . . . " neither its your sense of humour !! "

Trent fuck me this is like a kiddy's thread. My dad is bigger than yours.