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I don't know really. My head was just starting to hurt. I haven't had my morning coffee yet.

Rickie Lee Jones - The Sermon On Exposition Boulevard

Saves having to buy a sat nav as well. It'd only tell you to swim across the Atlantic Ocean anyway.

SHUT UP

He been on the Skittles?

Curses

"You think we've got it bad, Kerry Katona's piling on the pounds again!"

Bastards have got me translating a piece about wine today. That's just plain unfair.

Haven't had your hole for a month She's got some warped idea that if we don't have it for ages it'll be even more amazing than normal. She'll be thrilled when you last all of 30 seconds then!

Your custom will be missed.

Secretary's of the world UNTIE! UNZIP more like.

Bloody ugly picture, but nice to see a bit of recognition for one of the landmarks of Newcastlegateshead

"Wankers of the Week", you might say. Unfair on Jimbo like. His honorary position as cum-ulative all-time wanking champ will remain unmolested.

"Wankers of the Week", you might say.

Actually it doesn't sound right to me either but I can't be arsed to work it out. I suspect Fish got the notion from a similar headline though. Iirc travelling huge distances / achieving greater speeds is achieved by using the gravities of planetary bodies as a 'slingshot'. I'm pretty sure that's how Voyager, Voyager II etc. travelled as far and as fast as they did. The Planets was a quality doc series come to think of it. Aye, that right, but I don't think it makes magnitudes of difference. There's this thing you can do where you represent the sun as an orange, the earth as a pea, place them 6 feet apart and ask where the next nearest star is. The answer is Johannesburg (?) or something. If this were the 80s and I were a crap stand-up comedian, I'd make a joke about putting them on a plate and calling it "nouvelle cuisine".

http://noonebelongsheremorethanyou.com/

Got handed a flyer for All Tomorrow's Parties last night even though it's already over (well, the first weekend is, anyway). Shame really, looks like a cracking line-up.

Only had a couple of people not pay up, but that's been settled easily enough. Never had any trouble buying, even potentially dodgy stuff like an old iPod Shuffle from the States a while back.

1. Einstürzende Neubauten rule. 2. German girls' voices don't get any less piercingly annoying just because they've lived in Britain for a while. 3. Fat-faced Camden indie kids should be rounded up and shot. 4. Listening to Brits trying to pronounce German song titles is funny. 5. Listening to ticket touts trying to pronounce "Einstürzende Neubauten" is funnier.

Agree. True with Chinese food too. Took me years to find a half-competent Chinese place in Germany, they generally serve every single dish with the same slightly gloopy sauce regardless of what you order. Indian seems to be something of a delicacy over there, probably because there isn't the same population base so it's not as widespread - I suppose the equivalent to a curry on your night out is a Turkish kebab and chips - so you can get some really nice dishes but it costs a bit more and you don't get the same "pile it high and shovel it in" mentality as you do here. Which is a shame, really.

Ignoring that last bit, things really have improved though. I don't accept any shit from foreigners about the quality of British cuisine these days. Well, except possibly from the French. And the Italians... and the Greeks. But you get the point. I mean, my mother comes from a backwater in rural Sweden where they've only just discovered immigrants and curry powder, and even she was shocked when she moved over here in the 60s and struggled to find herbs and things like that.

I once found some meat in one

Whaaat? I didn't invent the silly Russian-or-whatever-it-is language and alphabet... Sod the name of the thing! Tomato juice is fucking rank! Oh right Aye, fair enough, it was a bit of an aberration

Whaaat? I didn't invent the silly Russian-or-whatever-it-is language and alphabet...