Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Didn't he leave the police under suspicious circumstances? Something about giving informants heroin in exchange for information?

The had that 'Geordie Trophy Virgins' banner last season as well, which is a bit embarrassing when you consider how long it took them to get their one and only cup.

I like a vodka & cranberry juice, but it's impossible to pretend to be masculine while drinking one.

Looking forward to this. Bringing my Toffee mate with me too, so I'm pleased to hear Fellaini and Cahill are out.

I live amongst them. They resent us massively because we are so much more high profile than them. They also don't like that even though we are their no.1 hate figures we're really not all that bothered about them. As Marko said, going for a drink in Boro after a game would be asking for trouble, they were itching for it after the game there last season. As an aside, they've stopped 'Pig-Bag' now, probably because we ripped the piss out of it so bad.

Saving yourselves for saturday, eh?

I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Yes, for comic effect. Bit rich coming from one of the quote pyramid twins anyway.

One of your better posts that

All the best to you Stevie, you'll be missed. Maybe poke your head round the door on a sunday when you're nursing your hangover?

One of my dads mates (60+) calls Campbell 'Jungle Johnny' but justifies it by saying Keown looks like a monkey too. You're wasting your breath trying to pull him up about it.

It's not actually. Women do have more accidents than men, but they tend to be relatively minor (car park dings, running into the back of people etc.), whereas men have less accidents, but when they do they tend to have a higher proportion of the 'though a hedge on its roof' type of crash, which obviously costs a lot more to put right.

Press conference with Ancelotti was fucking hilarious. "He's done it, he's sorry, it was an accident". Righto, accidently picked an air rifle up, pointed it at someone and pulled the trigger And what would happen to any of us if we took an air rifle into our work?

What a load of bollocks this is. Can't the EU see that womens insurance is cheaper based on complex risk assessment calculations and not on sexism? The facts are simple: young lads are much more likely to have a big crash than their female counterparts, so they should pay more because they represent a greater risk. What's next? Will they argue that's it's unfair to judge you on your age / address / occupation and we'll all pay the same?

If those 5m players are the quality of Tiote or Ben Arfa then I wouldn't mind if we only spent a portion of the 35 mill. I just want to see the squad progress and we particularly need to invest in decent strikers imo. If they're the quality of James Perch or (shudder) Carlton Cole I'll be fucking furious with the fat man (again). A lot rests on Carr and Pardoo's shoulders to spend wisely, however much they get. Dunno how realistic it is to expect us to unearth cheap gems every summer that no-one else is looking at. I'm more inclined to think we hit the jackpot with Tiote and Ben Arfa. If we do it regularly Graham Carr is a fucking genius and needs putting on a six year contract.

Was he grotesquely obese, a bit simple looking and wearing a stripy, creased shirt?

that castle looks like its in Anaheim ... or Jormany................. and that stone is in W Ireland I think The sword is made by Thomas Fattorini, surprised you didn't know that rob They also made the first FA cup and the rugby league Challenge Cup.

Just spotted that this has already been linked to by Leazes in the Pardew on Ashley, Finances and Future thread. Can a mod delete please.

I'd take a bet off anyone on here that the net spend in the summer will be £10m or less. The favoured 'undisclosed fee' makes it moot, but as has been said before on here, two £5m signings both on £40k/week five year deals means the Carroll money has all been 're-invested'. And Pardoo has already publicly admitted that the money has to cover signings and wages.

Clicky General football chit-chat for 10 mins then a couple of minutes about us. Reckons Pardoo won't see any of that £35 million...

http://teamtoon.ning.com/photo/isle-of-wig...96?context=user Does his Man City mate have 'Miguel' written on his arm?

It'll be a workers paradise by then - no toilet paper or booze but hey.......................... Kicking off in Tunisia again. More protests, the new prime minister forced out. Trouble in Oman too, which is one of the most liberal and open Arabic states.

Unless you can hack the site by randomly mashing the keyboard with your oversized paws I'd say we're pretty safe.

What the fuck was he doing taking an air rifle with a scope on it to his place of work?

I hope Paul has a re-think, decides he's been a bit hasty and would like to come back. I'm sure he'll be delighted the way this thread has turned out.