Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Bill Beswick. Followed him from Middlesbrough. Biggest joke is he's actually listed as being an England mind coach ffs. Also since Steve Round left Boro to join the England set-up earlier in the season, the smogs have started playing better and England have started playing like the smogs.

He's blatantly out of his depth and out of ideas. After being asked what went wrong after the game on saturday he tried to answer a couple of questions before resorting to shrugging his shoulders and saying "I don't know"

What's wrong with the train? No wonder this country is in such a state etc etc

Monitor, speakers, phone, mp3 player, pens, scissors, watch, free sample of after-shave, empty glass and a membership card.

His shot reminded me of that advert (for a bank I think) where the lad kicks the beach-ball but it goes flying backwards over his head.

All the best Hoggy, have a good one.

Robinson Richards A.Cole Terry Ferdinand Lennon Hargreaves Gerrard Downing Rooney Johnson

Genius! Click-me-do I particularly like the versions of Fools Gold and Fake Plastic Trees

There's a great pair. Great: yes Tit-in-proportion-to-body-size: good Massive: no

Your loss sunshine

Does anyone here shop at Aldi? It might have a bit of a pikey stigma, but I got a cracking set of portable speakers for my mp3 player there today. Also they do some excellent biscuits and cheeses there.

Aye, the tit-in-proportion-to-body-size ratio is the holy grail. Also, as age and gravity take effect, some tits stop being 'big' and start becoming 'long'.

Finley Quaye - Maverick A Strike album

I used to go out with a girl who was a 40HH. It kind of warps your perception; for a while after even DD's looked like aspirins on an ironing board.

They're taking it off in a couple of weeks

Great pictures, but for £900 million I'd expect a fully retractable roof. The pitch looked to cut up quite badly as well but I expect that will improve as it beds in.

QotSA - No One Knows tune

I like the shirt and socks, not keen on the white flashes on the shorts.

Agreed, looks photoshopped. Aye, there seems to be a feint outline round the logo and over Michael's collarbones. Also the middle white stripe doesn't quite join up above the logo. Might just be the joins from the jigsaw effect mind.

Moider! "Mr Ul-Haq, just one more thing..."

Not far off at all with your rendition Nobby.

Someone's in for an arse kicking in the morning.

I presume it's going to be his waist this time rather than a full reveal?