Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Fancy a Barbecue? For Ssschure.

How many of ours have contracts ending in 2011?

Danka schurn.My World Cup postings let me down like Isegrim, I was an emotional wreck for the whole tournament, most people don't care but I love England. In July I decided I no longer care for England, if we win the Euros or World Cup in future I won't care, the fact is England's players are all arseholes. Ashley Cole, Rooney, John Terry all of them as people are wanks. I mean look at Germany, just good young lads who play for the shirt, look at Podolski playing for a bottom of the table team he just gets on with it without an ego. There's too much money in English football, our footballers are almost American in attitude, they believe they are world stars, and the fact is someone like Rooney would probably be in the top 10 or 20 recognisable people on the planet, they believe their own hype. Reminds me of Oz saying 'donkey shite' instead of danke schoen (and gritty arse instead of grasias). Agree with the rest of the sentiment too, the England players believe their hype and simply don't want it enough.

Got a new aftershave that smells of breadcrumbs. The birds love it.

Right then England, stay calm. We've worked hard to get into this position, lets not do anything daft.

92-9! in the words of Aggers "An absolute rout"

Good start, but both reviews chucked away within an hour. That could prove costly.

37-2 now, come on, lets have Punter.

Come on England, give me another present lads.

Body found

If I was Asian or Black Im not sure I would want a ginger Scottish twat courting controversy on my behalf by referring to me as a Nigger or a Paki, whether he is sticking up for me or not. Just proves how horrendous a flop his show is that he's having to resort to these tactics to get press, regardless of the context it was said in, he knew the response it would get. Yup, and he'll be pissing himself laughing at it. Honestly, it's Frankie Boyle, how people can be surprised or shocked is beyond me. Especially the ones who didn't watch it. Same scenario as Ross-Brand gate: More complaints about it than there were actual listeners. Marco Van Basten found it hilarious btw.

Sorry Snakey, nothing sexy about Minchin. I say again, Susannah Reid is the indisputable queen of breakfast milfiness.

That theory has held me in good stead for years and I will continue to utilise it. It makes it all the more exciting seeing thousands of 30 something males storming around town and picking up any owld shite that they think'll dee. Petrol station is open in the morning. No rush. Pacing yourself, like it. Also loving your Christmas avatar! Canny rack on her, Mrs Claus

That theory has held me in good stead for years and I will continue to utilise it. It makes it all the more exciting seeing thousands of 30 something males storming around town and picking up any owld shite that they think'll dee. Petrol station is open in the morning. No rush.

Fair enough I'd say. He's not endorsing the use of racist language, quite the opposite.

That wiry ginger beard would soon take the skin off your knuckles, like hitting an orange brillo pad.

In what context did he say nigger and paki?

I think in some respects, the not knowing is actually worse than her being dead.

Welcome back Mr Hipster btw.

He's come back? Just after Toonraider returned...?

Aye, toughguymick comes out as Doleio Scuminho.

Why don't you fuck off then, you dole scum cocksucker?

The looks you get when you go into a supermarket at half 2 in the morning and buy a microwave cottage pie, a Playstation Move and a bottle of Pepsi is something to be treasured. It's much worse if you're buying big bags of fertilizer and wearing a wig. A shovel, some rope and a pair of latex gloves always catches the eye. Cable ties, gaffer tape and a balaclava is another one.

She's nee Susannah Reid like.

I read it sometimes, people will say I'm obsessed mentioning it, I'm not. It just seems to me that on the football board there's one or two knowledgable people, and absolutely scores trying to out do each other with a piece of knowledge or angle on present things in football. Whereas on here especially talking about old times people bounce of each other more, more like a shared knowledge in each thread, like "ah aye i mind that now". Good point that. A few times on here people have mentioned small, almost insignificant things from the '80s and '90s which have triggered memories.