Dr Kenneth Noisewater

Wonder where Liam got the idea for this from: Could it be....?

His header against Sampdoria in the friendly That one tackle he won against someone this season it was quite good His performance up front against Arsenal under fat sam His volley that hit the bar against Arsenal this season in the LC That stunner he pulled in the Diamond in Ponteland last year cunts were on about The highlight for me will be Simon Grayson with his arm round him holding a Leeds scarf up with a few flashbulbs. His lap of honour at Ibrox? I'm having an ITK point if he ends up there.

I've got an ex-office Dell Optiplex GX270 small form factor machine. It's a Pentium4 2.60Ghz with 2 gig of ram. The graphics card is on board of the processor and very basic. I don't play games, but I want to improve performance of streaming video and I use Photoshop CS3. What sort of graphics cards will (i) fit, (ii) make a noticeable improvement, and (iii) not cost the earth?

Rather have Henrik.

Shola, the mackem destroyer must play in the derby along with Carroll if they're both fit. After that his hip will probably be playing up again so we can keep him in a cotton-wool lined box until the next derby, whilst Best / Lovelyglands / Ben Arfa vie for position alongside AC.

Is it called the adductor anatomy fans?

I've twinged a muscle between the back of my knee and the groinal area. I wonder if my boss will send me to Dubai?

Traditional working class has been heavily diluted over the last couple of generations. A lot of us who's parents or grandparents were proper blue-collar working class and did real graft, have nice clean jobs in air-conditioned offices. A lot of us are doing better / earning more than our folks were at our age or have been to uni whereas our elders might not have had such opportunity. We have come from working class backgrounds but are living more middle class lives. The other end of the spectrum is families that were traditional working class, but have thought fuck it, why work?, and are now on their third generation of dole wallers, institutionalised in living off benefits and petty crime: Underclass.

We've surpassed and discarded that model. Next step, to appoint Wenger. I'd take David Dein as DoF in a heartbeat. Did he hang out at Dekka's casino by any chance?

This, in a nutshell. I prefer Williamson, thought he was great earlier in the season. Everton away stands out in my mind, absolutely immense, won everything in the air.

The russian can't stop meddling. They had the best manager in the world and he fucked him off by bringing in Grant over his head and signing Shevchenko and Ballack who he didn't want/need. Now he's got a manager who's just done the double but he destabilises him by sacking the popular assistant manager and replacing him with some no-mark amerixan coach to act as his spy on the inside. He deserves everything he gets imo.

More Mystic Keg predictions for a second day running. Fucking magic last night it was, if that's the straw that broke the Israelian Camels back, all the better. We were doing impression of him last night accentuating double chins at the game and speaking in boring voices. He looks like his face has been painted on a partially deflated balloon.

Only 80? I'll always have love for Keegan. But that would push me to the ragged edge. It'd be like an ex marrying your nemesis.

Far more ridiculous than KK coming back here when you think about it as well. Exactly. The same press that mocked us and KK for living in the past are now bigging up Dalglish as liverpoo's saviour.

First time there have been century stands for the 6th, 7th & 8th wicket in an innings too apparently.

*throws rotten fruit*

Mid-match seems strange timing.

Elton John was changing the nappy of his new son when he turned to his husband and said "He reminds me so much of you David" David says "Why, is it his cheeky little smile?" "No" replies Elton David asks "Is it his cute little nose?" "No, it's not that" says Elton David replies "Then it must be the colour of his eyes..?" "No," says Elton "he's got shit on his dick."

Folks just got a Bedlington Terrier pup

Aye, whoever is batting after tea tonight wins this imo.

Quote from the TMS site: "So we're having a great series but I don't think we should get ahead of ourselves, gloat or rub the Aussies' noses in it. Let's recognise that Australia are still the best in the world in many areas. When it comes to Aussie Rules Football, Ballroom Dancing Films and Transvestite Road Movies nobody else gets close to them."

I'd been out on a heavy session the night before and only just managed to crawl out of my pit before kick-off. Put Sky on, and there was a blank screen with the message that the football had been cancelled due to the death of Princess Diana. My first thought was someone had fucked up and it must've been the Queen Mother that had died. Put teletext which confirmed the news, and retired to my pit to sleep off the rest of the hangover. The only other thing that sticks out in my mind about it, was at the funeral, when the coffin was coming back out of the church some bint hysterically screaming "DIIANNNNAA!!!" Seems odd that some folk can work themselves up into such a frenzy of grief about someone they'd never even met. Suspect it was a scouser.

He completely slipped my mind On the bench at Spurs too. He'll play some part. OH DEAR. Says it all doesn't it?

Not a big fan of New Years Eve. Out for a curry with friends tonight, maybe a few drinks but probably in before midnight. Then going out walking with the camera gear in the morning trying to get some nice photies, weather permitting.