Ayatollah Hermione

Never had a man needed to just retire more than that clown Diaz

Aye but I’m telling the truth.

Regis le Butthead can hardly move his arms in that suit ffs. Styled by Jane Norman

They’ve done this all season. Constantly kept in games by the dire standard of the opposition

Cirkin is better than Hall and Tino apparently. If you can imagine that

They’d learn CPR if they could be bothered to learn how to spell it

That fucking kid’s mullet perm combo Looked like he had a comedy scouse wig on top of a cape

That overhead kick attempt He wasn’t even close

Incredible luck that they’re still in this. They’ll buck their ideas up now but Sheffield United will be out of sight by half time if they don’t

some hit but I imagine this is getting ruled out

Speed of their defenders running back Looked like they were hauling a fridge

Looks like MODOK off the X-Men cartoon

The Piles Council or something

Luke 0-3 going off with a dislocated shoulder in the first minute His second worse injury after he almost died of embarrassment going after Alexander Isak

Like how they’ve obviously bought loads of cans but don’t have the sense to just put the empties in the carrier bag and take them to a bin.

I’d say Andrew is more like Kermit on the original Muppet Show. Desperately trying to keep the show on the track as we all smash the place up

Imagine being jealous of Palace after this. Not us because we won the real cup

Didn’t Birmingham play in it under Hughton the year after they won the Carabao

Didn’t realise Fun88 were still lingering about tbh. I was never really certain they’re a real company so makes sense that they’re not

Anyone genuinely expecting Spurs and Man United to do us favours was out of their head. They’re 16th and 17th for a reason and they’ve basically written off the season since about February

I’m sure the MLFs have responded to that sensibly

If Villa are in PSR trouble, they can have the same experience as us last summer where they can lose a promising youngster and they can take some useless fucking Greek keeper for an inflated fee. They’ve got some fucking cheek asking for Barnes

Am I missing a betting sponsor we have somewhere? Or are they just lumping us in with every punishment they dish out to try and allow us down?

Thats good enough for me. Welcome Joan

Fucking damn right. Mind, most adults get on my tits as well so it’s no real luxury