Ayatollah Hermione

May as well imagine us getting relegated twice in a row and spending the better part of a decade outside the top flight if they’re imagining things that would never happen to a proper football team

Think I’ll buy one of them tbh. Up there with Brighton making 16/17 Championship Winners scarves

Aye, if you work for a company that would sack someone on a Friday and ruin their weekend then they deserve the same in turn. If they’re mega cunts, tell them you’re not working your notice either

Wonder how this big party on the Moor is going to pan out. More people gathered for that than there were for Martin Luther King

Interesting to see that all the local journos are running with the same story about the summer. As in, Howe is going to be backed after a year of keeping the powder dry. Usually they’re exercising caution so I’m expecting a busy one

Being in town was class last night, like. I was at that Utilita Arena fanzone (less said about the pint queues the better) and walking up after the game, everyone chanting and beeping horns, it felt fucking brilliant. Then, into The Strawberry for a big party. What dreams are made of

My mate started crying when Isak scored

Fuck Sunderland. They’re fucking shite and nobody should ever listen to whatever their shit-munching idiot fans have to say

What a day. What a team. Haven’t stopped crying since last night. Off today, I’m going for a mender and celebrating in style. We’ve just witnessed a team and a manager make themselves legends

Hopefully Jones gets the nod over him but I doubt it. And Bruno needs to learn that Joelinton is the one who needs to do the scrapping. He’s much harder

Been awake since half 4 and definitely not getting back to sleep now. Into these

Not even full time and they’re writing off Coventry as an entire footballing institution

I keep thinking this. Like, we have to beat them eventually Can’t be many longer losing runs between two sides in the same league. Well, not losing runs but can’t be many other teams who haven’t beat another in 17 attempts

I’ll be getting quite drunk to celebrate any win and praying that the sheer jubilation of lifting a cup will help override the depressive effects of the alcohol. This is a foolproof plan

Turns into a Deano post halfway through, man

Caulkin has went so far downhill, it’s outrageous

In the interest of balance, I can’t shake the feeling that we’re going to get shafted by the officials

Got to keep the paymasters happy

Our new 65k, state of the art, super stadium will surely still pale in comparison to their 25 year old flat pack monstrosity that was built on the cheap and has been outdated for about 15 years

That’ll definitely be what she’s referring to Cheers, boys

at “Balou” I’m stealing that

Also, my lass swears blind that, in the early 90s, Monty Magpie used to be drawn with a cigarette in his mouth. Google is coming up with nowt and I can’t remember it so seeing if you old bastard can instead

I’ve no doubt you’re right about them being shit tbh. Just was wondering if you could excuse a bit of the physical side of it. I think it’s the crop at the U18 level and below that are more highly rated but I’ll be amazed if we see more than 2/3 of them get their game for us going forward

Renton doing more to kill the planet with ChatGPT and AI than Silicon Valley is