Ayatollah Hermione

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this lot didn't go into a second lockdown tbh. I can see them praying that the Nightingale hospitals can carry the brunt and then carrying on.

Public transport is a complete mess of fat families buying paddling pools. Fuck me

Fucking mad how America still think they’re the goodies. If this was the 30s, the rest of the world would be gearing up to invade and sort them out.

Christ, you’re on that beach more than Mitch Buchannon

What a fucking farce this whole thing is at this point. Now the FA are getting involved over FA Cup highlights according to one journo and then there’s a Saudi journo disputing it immediately. What a fuck on

Started Snowpiercer and it seems like a great concept that I’m going to be massively disappointed with when they waste its potential.

It's a strange one, like. Considering the North London derby isn't being shifted.

A lot of people on about how they wouldn’t want to win it if nobody was there. Like it’s suddenly a knocking bet that we’ll walk over Man City

Aye, I’m in Gateshead. I’ve taken to going to the local Tesco Express at about half 9 at night now. Barely anybody in and there’s always someone on the door monitoring the levels anyway. Plus, you get all the reduced scran and you end up with a freezer full of meat

Not a chance people are social distancing in shops. It’s a free-for-all

CAN YOU DIE FROM OVERDOSING ON PURE SOCCER????

Fucking hell, I can’t believe they’re letting anyone involved in TalkTalk do that app. My TalkTalk Internet couldn’t stay connected for longer than 10 minutes and they’re trusting the brains behind that to trace this virus.

I love those memes that are so hyper specific that only about 6 people out of every 500,000 can possibly relate.

Am I right in reading this track and trace will lead to voluntary isolations?! Literally letting people make their own rules to get around sacking his real gaffer

Got one of them and it was alright, I suppose. Slightly more annoyed when I realised you have to ring them to cancel your subscription.

Fun to play with CT running after chickens like the Boldon Balboa

See, he’s human just like us! A proper man of the people.

The most Twitter poll ever

Simon Bird went with it as well but he might just want to join in.

The Mackems are probably pissed off that Cummings went to Durham and not Seaham. There’s another special relationship they’ve missed out on

Now that Craig Hope is involved, it’s odds-on to be shit stirring.

https://apple.news/AwR20p0VvQWGXHecRi_nfzg I notice this has been quietly buried amidst all the Cummings stories. They can’t help themselves, these fuckers

Takes something to unite the right and left, like. Imagine being that much of a stratospheric cunt.

Hope it involves braying them all over in a pub car park

Someone should ask the daft shite if he bothered to ring 111 at any point.