Ayatollah Hermione

Ally Fraser from Auf Weidershen is in all of them

LOU2 is next year, along with every other big Sony exclusive before they roll out the PS5 in 2020. As for RDR2, you'll get 60 hours out of the story alone, partly because they refuse to let it fucking end but there's also hunting, crafting, side-missions, challenges, the usual open-world fare. The fishing is oddly relaxing. But, here's a third, better option. Hitman 2 with the add-on that includes all the Hitman 1 levels. You'll never need another game for a year.

Red Dead Epilogue, in which you hold down X/A for 3 hours and twiddle the analog stick in even more boring gimmick missions instead of anything fun

It's hardly the government's fault that he was too fucking thick to venture out of physical investments before now. It's 2018 and he's buying up retail floor space ffs.

Big expectations like "Not giving away penalties every other week" and "stopping a cross"

Am I the only person alive that uses his as a speaker?

Was it ever revealed what Bigirimana’s mystery illness was?

If he ever lines up a team like that, I'll watch every single match until he's sacked. That's right, both of them.

Most like big Bernie Sanders, least like Trump. I’d get so many left-wing American tarts, if only they knew

Bringing it back to England slightly, it was great to see them dominate Croatia, even if it is apparent that the World Cup will probably their zenith as a national team for quite some time. What's most encouraging is how much more strength in depth is there, even than there was in June. The emergence of Sancho and Gomez as international players, two proper left backs in Chilwell and Shaw and you have Oxlade-Chamberlain to come back to, hopefully, give us the quality central midfielder that we're only really missing. It's pretty impressive progress with regards to young English players making their spots at their clubs their own and there's still plenty of quality around that is going to develop giving time. And for Southgate to look at that bench, which was incredibly stacked and full of options, and pick the three right subs out of it all says a lot about how he's emerging as a manager. Mind, shame we couldn't beat Croatia when it mattered.

Just back from Krakow and one bar had a shot called "BREXIT" and it was fucking rancid. Made two of us hoy up and tasted like some radge herbal vodka, brewed in a serial killer's bath. So, it was perfectly named. Just thought I'd bring it up

Can they hurry up and announce this election? Only I have to exchange currency today and I want some hope of a decent rate.

Today, the PM said "I've done wanged it this time. Whoopsie doodles, is my face red. What a pack of useless cunts I had spearheading this fucking fiasco"

Well, we really showed those barmy Brussels Bureaucrats who they were dealing with

Aye, does she stink?

Another manager who expects hard graft out of all of his players. Unlucky for some.

Probably the Under 23s

Burnley have a very white side. Now, I don’t want to speculate about the beliefs, racist or otherwise, of Sean Dyche but you’ve got to think that it’ll spur our multi-cultural, progressive chaps into a classic away win

This was not the correct thread

Being creative in the 1940s would have been a piece of piss. If I was there, I'd have invented Spider-Man. A spider would run across my desk and I would think "I wish i could shoot webs and wear red pyjamas" and that would be that. Not having any of this for Stan Lee.

Never let it be said you're too negative

Go to head office and have a shit in the reception

Seemed like that's what the subs were all about. Basically getting an extra centre half in the middle so Schar could help him out and then Howe immediately moved Fraser central I have to admit, I feared the worst when Defoe came on but did he even touch the ball?

Rondon is essentially the Colossus of Rhodes given corporeal form. I thought he was absolutely immense, he bullied every Bournemouth player he was up against, held the ball up immensely well but more than that, he can skip past his man, play his way out of trouble is genuinely more mobile and accomplished a striker than the last few knackers we've had in that role. Had a good game against Watford but today, he was absolutely immense. Fernandez letting his man have a yard before smashing him up a height with a sliding tackle is right from the Argentinian school of defending, Ki uses the ball much more intelligently than Shelvey and comes with a better delivery from set-pieces to boot and Perez had one of his better games, I thought. Less pissing about and seems to enjoy having Kenedy, Ki and Rondon around him a lot more. Some fucking mental subs at the end but fair play to Atsu who has, to be charitable, been absolutely shit so far this season but he was willing to make those runs late on and was unlucky in not sealing it. Exactly the kind of performance needed against a rapid, skilful side. Hopefully this goes someway to restoring SJP to a place that teams dislike going as it was back end of last season.

REMAIN IN LIGHT reimagined as an afro-funk masterpiece