Ayatollah Hermione

I've no idea how he managed it but he reckons he did. He's fond of giving them a rusty hook as well.

Thank you, my adult girlfriend would love a message from Santa

i thought i was cynical

I have a mate that goes a bit Undertaker on any lass he's doing it with. Choking and standing on their heads and that. He's a perfect case of someone brought up watching lasses get donkey punched and slapped and thinking its decent carry-on.

Stop being such a banana head, watching it on a monthly rotation is the least you can do. John McClane may not have been up for manscaping but he's definitely covered Holly's face in his spunk more than once. And she fucking loved it

nothing edgy about passionately defending the modern love fable that is Die Hard either

I just bound towards lasses naked regardless of if my body looks like a barber shop floor. I take humbrage with the term manscaping, mind, not the actual act. It should be replaced with a humourous slang term immediately.

Manscaping. Man alive. You'll be buying Coldplay DVDs and defending Love Actually next.

What a big fucking puff you must be. Under the thumb in the best way possible and you're complaining about watching explosions, Alan Rickman and people throwing cars at helicopters. Headcase. As soon as the kids come along, you'll be espousing the virtues of Moulin Rouge like Boldon's Best Dad, Christmas Tree.

The thin bloke that's inside Stevie and crying to get out? Nah, he's the thin bloke that was swallowed whole when CT devoured a buffet in one sitting, the fat peasant. I manscape, but I don't shave pits, chest or tummy topiary. Will take the trimmer to the fuzzy little patch of hair at the small of my back. What a pointless piece of hair that is by the way. It's just an annoyance, like the carpet round the base of some people's toilet. You fucking what?

There is not a part of the Die Hard series that is poor. WTF is wrong with you people? If you are watching that going "oh this was done better in bloobedy blobbedy blurp" then reassess your life because you're on a one way track to the same mental asylum that houses CT's taste

Us for getting Ba for free?

"fat rentboy"

. In fifteen years, the same discussion will rage on about which one is Fitz Hall and which one is Pancrate btw.

I'm just happy to finally find out who the frig it is.

There's no "isn't really" about it, he blatantly isn't in contention to play central midfield ffs. Saltwater, stop being a doyle reet.

Can just imagine Jamouse going for his hair cut, saying "just give me a number 1 all over" then holding his arms in the air, shirtless.

I reckon they'd do alright as well with a better manager and certainly well enough to stay up. If Samba goes, that's them finished though.

tbh, as long as Smith doesn't play, he can play who he likes.

Die Hard five times.

Sounds like a good lass that one, MF. You big tit

Black Mirror was excellent last night. Proper telly.

Christ alive

can convey any emotion.

Well at least Scotland's youth have Kassidy and Biffy Clyro now, mate...