Ayatollah Hermione

Sloop John will look back in 15 years and realise what a twat he was. I can't remember the last time I listened to music with such self-consciousness. Also, fwiw, I enjoyed a fair few of the albums on Sloop's list and had them recommended to me by the "Ironic Hipster" crowd but I enjoyed them on musical merit rather than some deep-seated desire to shun the mainstream or whatever it is he hopes to achieve by filling his record collection with acceptable records. Bollocks to any scene, just rock out. Honestly, looking at John's list, is there any album you'd put on just to listen to and hopelessly sing along? They all seem like intensive listens with the possible exceptions of Wilco and Annie. Some of my favourite stuff is Blondie because I can put it on and hopelessly sing like a twat to it. Well, and they're pretty much perfect pop tracks but it's mostly the first thing.

Loving the background. Nothing shows a football top off better than a summer's day. Bolton that is. Also, that Wigan player has his arse back to front.

Of course, someone merely defending Spurs would have no reason to go to the length of drawing some weird list to hand to his Mummy or whatever.

I agree. What a fucking munter.

"Oi Alex: Danny B's Last Stand"

Messenger, mate, I'll tell you since nobody else will; you're shit at whatever it is you're attempting to do. I'd leave before you make a bigger tit of yourself.

Looking forward to this. Reckon the atmosphere is going to be similar to Monday, we're going to go out flying and win again. Unless we get caught on the counter time and again which means we'll be fucked.

Taste the happy, Michael!

I'd agree with that. He's a canny player and would be going for fairly cheap in the summer. We could (and probably will) do a lot worse than trying to take him, especially if we keep Viduka/Martins, they'll probably spend some time on the injury table and a Shola-led frontline doesn't fill me with confidence. This is assuming Owen leaves.

One time, this kid next to me came out for the second half with a bottle of water and a Mars Bar.

Seems a canny bloke all in all but needs to sort his fucking hair out. Still, they lost a lot of key players and he replaced them poorly so you can't really feel too sympathetic (and the fact he's managing Boro has something to do with that like). I think Boro as a whole have been approaching relegation steadily (much like ourselves) for a few seasons now though.

I'm bricking both our game and theirs. I don't think Hull have enough about them to win if Bolton play well but really, what do Bolton have to play for? Hopefully, Kevin Davies can pop up with a couple to sink them but it'll be tight.

Words do not describe the hangover I have but I'll gladly live with it today. After all the hate I've given Taylor and Martins this season, I couldn't care less. They could double team my mother and I'd just throw a blanket over them. What a night.

Spinal Tap - 11/10 (har har) How more black can it be? The answer is none. None more black.

The amount of times he's been done for pace is depressing. Seeing Gerrard gallop away from him as he hopelessly trailed behind was so symbolic of our season.

Crippling himself

2-0 Viduka 40, Taylor 78 Though in real world terms; 0-0 Owen to hit the post and Taylor to scramble one of their chances off the line.

This. While wrapped up in a blissfully optimistic haze, I secretly know it'll be a dull 0-0 and we'll be condemned. I plan on getting very pissed, regardless of the score with me being off tomorrow.

Feeling optimistic about this now. 2-0 win to us. Viduka to haunt them and Harper in the 92nd minute. Stevie said somewhere else if we don't beat them, we deserve to go down twice to League One and I agree with him. This is the two worst teams in the league tonight and if we fail to win, then we should just be put out of our misery.

Have you farted?

You've always been known for your nice skin, s/r I think 90's porn involves women with tight perms being shagged by men in strangely bright coloured suits with a soundtrack of Colour Me Badd and Michael Bolton. Imagine a swingers party at Barry Venison's house and you're probably halfway there. Steve Howey guest of honour

Downloaded them recently and they're fucking hilarious. Songs are even better than last time, one-liners are funnier, Murray is a genius creation.

perpetual

Impossible Mission. I'm sure a certain version of that game (might have been the US one) had a glitched last level so it actually was impossible to finish.

Didn't Beckham score a couple of free-kicks when he first signed as well? You'd think that might sway things.