Kitman

Looks like a piss poor attempt from a mackem troll. For the record I don't think we'll finish above them, not that I care. We'll have our hands full all season just staying up, without worrying about our *ahem* special neighbours.

Thanks mate. In my head I'm 21.....

Thanks fellas, much appreciated. We're 11 hours ahead in NZ at the mo'. The weirdest thing about moving here was going from a summer birthday to a winter birthday. That and celebrating Christmas in shorts and flip-flops!

I'll take that as a compliment

I think I know what you mean. Wait, no, it's gone....

Every match? I doubt the abuse will last beyond Xmas, and they certainly won't get the same amount of abuse during their home games. Also, these players, they're not exactly strangers to abuse from opposition fans, are they? Exactly. Plus they probably have the memories of a goldfish.....

Thanks mate and happy birthday to you! I'm sure a proud Irishman like yourself will be thrilled to learn we both share our birthday with Princess Diana, gawd bless 'er soul * sob *

I don't honestly think they care

Here's one I spent no time on: We are Newcastle Newcastle we love you With no cash to front And an owner who's a cunt And Super Shola Ameobi too We are Newcastle Newcastle's is our side You can stick your trophy glitter Up John Terry's scabby shitter Newcastle is our joy and is our pride We are Newcastle Newcastle till we die You'll never hold us back Because it's still the craic To see the Magpies flying high I'll get me coat

Kevin, Cyprus will be within reach if you get the jab at McDs.....fingers crossed

Perhaps David Cameron should go the same route as Nigeria and ban the tossers from competing for 2 years whilst they sort their shit out

Sounds like it's back to the bread line Britain of the 1980's. However sounds like something had to be done and Labour weren't going to do it....it's probably quite smart to live beyond your means, knowing someone else has to pick up the tab, and will get the blame for sorting it out. What's difficult to tell from this remove is whether the scale of the cuts is warranted or just politically driven. Could anything decent be recovered from privatising the banks bailed out during the GFC?

nope Aw come on dave. You know, if i get this job, i'll hardly be on here anymore on that basis, the very best of luck with the job Kevin

the only way is up.... Unless it's a job in Mcdonalds, then there's a 90% chance that the way will be down... Think of the big bucks, mate. It's just a stepping stone to something better, like KFC I couldn't work somewhere like crack-donalds, the scummers who go there often would boil my piss. I think it's just fast food joints as a rule. Some of the worst ones I ever went to in the UK were the pizza ones - once I even saw the "chef" pausing in prepping the pizza to spray a cockroach that was crawling up the kitchen wall. And that was a major high street chain. It's says something when you notice how filthy some of these places are, even when you're completely pissed.....

the only way is up.... Unless it's a job in Mcdonalds, then there's a 90% chance that the way will be down... Think of the big bucks, mate. It's just a stepping stone to something better, like KFC

the only way is up....

Remember that customers will either want their burgers rare, medium or well done.

I suggest when you're called in that you smile confidently and approach the interviewer with an outstretched hand. That way it's very difficult to refuse it. Unless you've wiped your arse with it of course, in which case you might not be suited to a job in catering (even at McDonald's).

Manager "And the best bit Kevin, is you get a free meal every day!" Kevin "No thanks, the food's shite. Me mam'll make me sandwiches." NEXT!!!!

Possibly. Or you could say that you have an insatiable appetite for appalling junk food and this will enable you to tap directly into the motherlode.

the big bucks

As long as you don't have your cock out, I don't see how you can fail. Personal health problems don't seem to be handicaps, judging by the people I've seen behind the counter. Ability to speak English is probably an advantage but not essential.

Didn't Mexico have another keeper who was canny famous who was also pretty short? Edit: Looked it up - Campos - 5'6" And here he is in a late foray up field

I hope that's the last we'll see of Heskey in an England shirt. A striker who doesn't score goals, not very useful.

Most of the players we've been linked with are dismal. Andy O'Brien, J LLoyd Samuel etc etc? Ye Gods! Hughton is now talking about the return of Joey Barton as like having a 'new signing'. I always think this is the acid test of whether a club is deep in the transfer shit. Never mind we haven't signed any new players lads, here's an old player back from injury! Sums up just how bad things are when he's creaming his trousers over Joey climbing off the treatment table. He must enjoy the 8 or 9 'new signings' he gets during the course of every season. No wonder Fat Mike made him manager......