Kitman

What was the flavour of the soup? Was that story about Marianne Faithfull and the Mars Bar just an urban myth?

I can't remember him scoring with his head apart from that Barca game? Maybe I'm being unfair. He's certainly a crap target man and can't find his teammates with his head.

I assume Shola's the horse? Seriously Parky, what makes you think he would be an asset to the team in the CCC? I haven't seen him play for a long while but has he improved? iirc he couldn't hold the ball up, rarely struck the ball cleanly, let defenders off the hook by giving away obvious fouls all game long, little heading ability, little awareness of team mates around him. Generally spent the game lolloping around at a snail's pace, huffing at the ref, sulking when he was ignored, with the odd dribble up a blind alley and no end product. Never chased down defenders either. And this is Shola at his peak Is he really better than Carroll?

Following the toon is probably the biggest threat to our health

Typically we hear nothing of the fate of the potato

It's like the upper-class compartment on Incontinence Airways. That bloke in the brown suit on the front row I'm surprised they're not reading him the last rites

I'm guessing he'll do the usual Aussie trick of pretending it didn't happen. I'm seriously expecting it won't be reported on Aussie Sky news. Of course, if their fortunes improve Ken will be back like a shot, as if he'd never gone Kitman who do you prefer Aussies or English and why? I prefer the English. Because I'm an Englishman tbh I don't have a problem with Aussies, they seem to export the worst ones to England. I do a lot of business with the Aussies and they're good craic by and large. As a nation they're obsessed with sport in an East German type of way but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Ah fair enough. Are you Gejon in disguise?? I'm more of an OOT than Gejon, I think you'll find

I've no faith in Shola. Still we may have no choice, and you never know.

Good post match interview with Ponting to be fair. Didn't whinge, which is nice.

I'm guessing he'll do the usual Aussie trick of pretending it didn't happen. I'm seriously expecting it won't be reported on Aussie Sky news. Of course, if their fortunes improve Ken will be back like a shot, as if he'd never gone Kitman who do you prefer Aussies or English and why? Probably the English I reckon. Ripper! Very perceptive Alex

I'm guessing he'll do the usual Aussie trick of pretending it didn't happen. I'm seriously expecting it won't be reported on Aussie Sky news. Of course, if their fortunes improve Ken will be back like a shot, as if he'd never gone Kitman who do you prefer Aussies or English and why? I prefer the English. Because I'm an Englishman tbh I don't have a problem with Aussies, they seem to export the worst ones to England. I do a lot of business with the Aussies and they're good craic by and large. As a nation they're obsessed with sport in an East German type of way but I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Yeah, a friend of mine was saying Ashley will probably wait till as late as possible, flog everyone possible, pocket the money and leave no time to buy any new players! Probably take the toilet paper with him as well. I expect they've been on the grease proof paper for months now

I'm guessing he'll do the usual Aussie trick of pretending it didn't happen. I'm seriously expecting it won't be reported on Aussie Sky news. Of course, if their fortunes improve Ken will be back like a shot, as if he'd never gone

Outstanding post Sandman, inspirational stuff. So you kept one nut expecting to lose both, or did I read that wrong?

ENGLAND WIN BY 115 RUNS! Johnson bowled Swann.

Flintoff continues. Kitman talks to himself on Toontastic.

That was probably the last bowl of his hour and a half spell too. Umpire no-balled the previous ball. 26 overs 5-82. Brilliant stuff Freddy. Last man in for the Aussies.

Siddle bowled Freddy. Five wicket haul!

Hauritz bowled Freddy! 8 down, the bell is tolling....

You missed off the next bit: "And for that reason we will be climbing aboard our battleship and we will bombard Calais just like the good old days. We did not let the Argies intimidate us and we will not let the Brussels mussel munching leeches steal everything that makes this country great. We may have the body of a woman but we have the heart and brain of a lion. Wish us luck gentlemen." It's a shame that word has gone from common usage. I reckon we could take Spain and Belgium without too much kerfuffle. The Faroe Islands could take Belgium

Clark goes! Into the tail proper now.

Lest one forget it was these old crunchies that held back the worst excesses of Thatcherism. I would leave the Lords completely untouched and perhaps increase their powers to hold back/delay bad legislation. Yes, because geriatric deranged old etonian in-bred syphilitic bastards with nothing better to do but sleep all day in the Lords are the guardians of democracy. Give it to the celebrities, at least they've earned it with raw talent. I doubt an aristo could hold down a bit part on Hollioaks. 3 out of 4 asleep in the back row.... A resonable response to the daily boredom of politics.. See, you wouldn't get that with the youthful vigour of a Tony Blackburn 'Kid' Jensen ftw. Kid Jensen

You missed off the next bit: "And for that reason we will be climbing aboard our battleship and we will bombard Calais just like the good old days. We did not let the Argies intimidate us and we will not let the Brussels mussel munching leeches steal everything that makes this country great. We may have the body of a woman but we have the heart and brain of a lion. Wish us luck gentlemen."

Lest one forget it was these old crunchies that held back the worst excesses of Thatcherism. I would leave the Lords completely untouched and perhaps increase their powers to hold back/delay bad legislation. Yes, because geriatric deranged old etonian in-bred syphilitic bastards with nothing better to do but sleep all day in the Lords are the guardians of democracy. Give it to the celebrities, at least they've earned it with raw talent. I doubt an aristo could hold down a bit part on Hollioaks. 3 out of 4 asleep in the back row.... A resonable response to the daily boredom of politics.. See, you wouldn't get that with the youthful vigour of a Tony Blackburn

Lest one forget it was these old crunchies that held back the worst excesses of Thatcherism. I would leave the Lords completely untouched and perhaps increase their powers to hold back/delay bad legislation. Yes, because geriatric deranged old etonian in-bred syphilitic bastards with nothing better to do but sleep all day in the Lords are the guardians of democracy. Give it to the celebrities, at least they've earned it with raw talent. I doubt an aristo could hold down a bit part on Hollioaks.