Kitman

It should go to celebrities when they're out of work. It could be offered as the runner up prize on 'I'm a Celebrity Get me Outta Here'. Celebrities are the new aristocracy after all.

Whatever. Ex-Newcastle striker.

The biggest mistake of my entire life was not going to that RADA audition after memorising all the Shakespeare and shit. Is this about you Parky ? It all makes sense now......

I'm mystified what services Doug Hall might think he's provided. He got an exorbitant salary, presumably paid to some offshore tax haven, he seemed to me to do bugger all to earn it and generally presided over the decline of the club. What was his area of expertise? Sacking & appointing managers? Being related to the majority shareholder? Or was it the negotiation of image rights? I hope Fatty tells him to do one.

Good for you, get stuck in and give it a go. Hope it works out for you.

Based on the Windies tests, where we were very conservative on declarations despite being 1-0 down, I think England will go in this morning and swing the willow for an hour or so to get to 600 a la Smoggeordie. It also dovetails nicely with Freddy Flintoff's farewell to test cricket if he peppers a few to the boundary at Lords and makes a 50. Personally I would have made Australia follow on. They've hardly ever followed on so it would have been both humiliating and added huge pressure. We've got plenty of runs so I agree we should declare overnight and get into them.

Ex-Newcastle striker tbh. Interesting to see his ligament injury playing for England vs Sweden was nothing to do with him.

That's a cracking summary of Ashley's ownership. The wrting was on the wall after the January transfer window.

I predict a new signing

I think a lot of people feel sorry for us now tbh

Obviously you have us mixed up with the land Kitman lives in, either that or your welsh dad. South Island has lots of sheep and few people so I understand. I expect people's romantic options are a little limited there of a Friday night

I disagree. Big cheques----->big expectations----->no patience and he's already had his period of grace last season. I'd expect them to take the same approach as Abramovich....the only question is whether he'll get as long as Christmas if it's not going well. imho of course.

At least it's not the usual kick in the balls

What a day! Getting the Aussies to follow on at Lords would be mint

Still got a chance of a big score but requires Strauss to bat through. We've got more of a waggy tail than we used to with Braod, Swann and Anderson. Be disappointed to get less than 500 after that start tbh.

Not good news on any count.

GROOMER!

I can't believe anybody would be interested on those terms

The word on the street is that the £100-150m owed to Ashley is still part of the deal, its just that the new owners have two years to pay it. I'd say that's the word up shit creek more like. You have to wonder if he'd ever sell at that price.

Moider x 2!

Bath or Barth? Pronunciation is lercal, innit, there's no right or wrong. The good folk of Birmingham are convinced the rest of the world "talk funn-ay". My old English teacher told me the English of the Canterbury Tales sounds very much like Glaswegian. If he was telling the truth then it's the rest of us who are out of step.

My overdraft feels very real, Parky

West Highland Terrier? Shouldn't it support a Scottish club? Bloody OOTs/Hughton Bandwagon Jumpers!

No they're not. We now have Barclays dictating whether we can or cant appoint a manager. That doesnt happen when you owe yourself. Yes, there is the overdraft of course. I was talking more about the structural debt, which will now have to be accounted for in any share sale - anyone buying Ashleys shares is going to value them on a net-of-debt basis (which he would have done if he'd bothered to do any due diligence) Can you explain that in layman's terms? When valuing the shares the buyer is going to ask what is the net value of the club - ie, assets = x, less debts = y, total value of the shares = 3 shillings ha'penny Isn't the value of a company typically fixed by reference to its operating income rather than its net asset value?

I'd be surprised if these were Hughes's signings as such, although obviously he's not going to say no to any of them. I reckon it's a race between Hughes and Ancelotti to be the first PL manager sacked. Hughes seems more likely to me as he was in situ last season so will be expected to do the business immediately.