Dazzler

I think Bruno plays, he's the captain and had a full week of rest. I reckon Hall gets the nod too, but it makes more sense to bench him. Even though Targett has only just recovered from two years out with Marcelino's disease he should have more than enough about him to handle Bromley.

I honestly think we'd be tempted at £80m+ for either player - at least I think so for Bruno.

Has to be really. Fonseca plays Kamikaze footy from memory and will send them straight down and Jose is a fancy sounding Dyche these days. Moyes will at least keep them up, probably. Plus they’ll hate it which is okay with me.

I genuinely thought you were kidding and then I googled it. Fucking hell man that is beyond fucking disgusting For reference this is the only time they’ll allow people to call someone mentally ill. There is zero difference between this and twitter now. Glad I’m off the lot.

He tried to be a bastion of moral standards by attacking Andrew Tate in his videos (which should be a fucking free hit) and ended up outing himself as a raging islamophobe in the process. He’s a loudmouth who reckons he’s a hard cunt. He was decent when he first came up but the attention and money clearly made him a worse version of what he already thought he was IMO.

The consultant I had to see for a severe bleed in my bowel a few years back was a complete weapon too. He was more arsed about proving himself right than my wellbeing. He never found out what was causing it and eventually whatever it was just healed itself and I hope it still bothers him that he couldn’t diagnose me with crohns or colitis - so I guess I’m just as big a prick as him in reality His boss was absolutely class tbf. She had all of his knowledge and none of his ego.

Also, not a fan of the truth. How dare he make sure we don’t forget the absolute shambles she left behind.

The fucking irony. The brass neck. Hilarious.

Tbf when I’ve thought about the slimy six clubs he could end up at it has always been Chelsea I’ve thought would be the most likely, because spurs are utter dog shit. I don’t think he’d ever want it like, it’s as big a clown car as ‘United’ and there is every chance he takes us up to the ‘elite’ level anyway.

Got to love big Ange changing his tune about VAR after his team benefited from it. Fat hypocrite.

He gets bad press because he’s a complete wanker tbf.

See also:

I had a one for stepovers too, but I have seen Gordon do them on occasion so didn't think it would effectively illustrate just how much we miss playing mid-table footy with Maxi over European footy with that shitbag scouser.

Yes, but you are ignoring the the most important metrics illustrated below:

Reporting late to an Eddie Howe pre-season probably takes ages to catch up too.

It doesn't count when they have an Arsenal badge on though. Did you not get the memo?

Almost a 1 in 2 return. But they were all tap ins and/or against shit teams - especially those ones he got against the big 6, absolutely shit them ones.

I'm half tempted not to take up the option for the Fulham game tbh - I have to buy the tickets by tomorrow and I reckon I'll get knifed in my sleep if I touch the savings before payday considering what went out for Christmas

Less so in the last few seasons tbf. They've been in the top half more often than not.

Pope seems to physically break down a few months out of every season though so Trafford would be getting plenty of game time. Unless the Greek fella finally gets a game (which I doubt)

Successful in the ballot for Fulham, unsuccessful for the second leg against Arsenal. It somehow feels like a loss because I am not arsed about the Fulham game

FYP

Same with Klopp and any fucker managing a club in red (unless of course he's a well mannered Portuguese fella who plays three at the back)

Arteta spent most of the game outside of the technical area too with absolutely no repercussions.