Dazzler

This is what to expect at St Jamer United

This should really be seen as an opportunity by Osula, Neave etc - especially if we don't end up with Wissa and Isak doesn't crawl back after he's still here in September. Both have gotten plenty of minutes playing centrally over pre-season - the former more than the latter obviously - and while neither are at the required level I reckon I'd prefer Osula central so Gordon can move wide left. We need someone in that spot, even if they aren't a good enough option long term. Rather than go out and buy someone not good enough why not use the shite we already have and take a punt on them coming good.

Despite the best efforts of his missus who spent the entire time hoying shade at the club every time he was benched for Pope I'd also like to add Milner to the list of players leaving who fucked me off. Same time as Given, but he went to a Villa who created the blueprint for the mackems of spending years circling the drain before finally getting relegated. (Aye, I know we went down that season, but maybe we wouldn't have if that cunt had stuck about).

1-0 us. Joelinton with the winner, and then drag Isak up seven stories into the away stand and beat him to death with a chub roll.

Mainoo was comfortably their best player whenever I've seen him play. He did well when he got games for England. I don't think Amorim fancies him because he doesn't suit his system. I think he's very much a Willock type player in that he's canny shite at the defensive side of things.

If I recall we were also playing our left winger up top at that point too. At least Gordon puts a shift in though compared to Maxi's snail pace bullshit when played out of position. I still don't know why we haven't considered switching Barnes and Gordon around. Gordon does his best work wide left and Barnes is a much more natural finisher than Gordon. He'd probably at least get on the end of something every once in a while.

Hang on, how is it a break in tradition. Toonpack started this one and we didn’t lose. Or is the tradition a trade of cash for speeding along the process?

He’s also very softly spoken for a scouser which helps

Bastard. Yours is better.

We all know an artisanal pizza maker that looks like this.

Just do that and replace him with a wacky, inflatable, arm flailing, tube man and sell that to Liverpool. They fell for it when we sold them Carroll and they’ll fall for it again.

“Aye, I just thought fuck it. I spent nearly a hundred quid all in to make a family’s personal tragedy all about me. Wouldn’t care, I’m not even a Liverpool fan.”

Just read that Richard 'Gorilla Hands' Keys has claimed Liverpool have made a second offer of £140m and now Real Madrid are sniffing about him. The fact that nobody else has claimed this suggests he's full of shit as per usual

The fact he doesn't play for either of the two teams you mentioned is why he probably won't go. It's why Willock and Longstaff didn't get in a few years ago despite outperforming most of the centre mids who were picked - though I think Willock might have been injured again.

Jambo is very much one of those words that sounds like it’s probably racist even though it isn’t tbh. You should all be ashamed. Bigots.

Practically 29

Impressive

It's three extra seconds to get a dropped piece of food into your gob, what's not to benefit from?

Forest were docked points 18 months ago, so not sure they've avoided the shit... They've also sold a number of players for big money over the last few transfer windows whereas Villa have spent all the Grealish money and kept most of the players they've bought.

Isn't that Steve-o? Looks an awful lot like Steve-o.

Because TAA played for the media darlings and global powerhouse that believes itself to be a plucky underdog. Isak plays in the minor leagues for a team that bested them in their only cup final last season, and had the beating of them in the league were it not for a ref who was as cowardly as he was corrupt.

Almost all of his goals except the one vs us were classic goal moocher goals. At least two of the goals were generously awarded to him - especially that one where the Leicester player slides into the net and scoops the ball in with his hand for five yards over the line tbf though that kind of striker is exactly what we're missing and is quite often the difference between a draw against someone shit in a low block or beating them.

Accept a bid for £109,999,999.99 from Barca and when Liverpool bid £110m again reject it without even reading the email. Sell to anyone for any price so long as it’s not Liverpool.