acrossthepond

I reckon Pardew will soon be dispensed with. Inevitably, when crowd trouble begins to threaten attendances (and thus the flow of $$$), Ashley offers up a sacrifice - before it was Wise & co., then it was Kinnear, then it was Kinnear again, and it'll be Pardew this time, to an explanation of "I backed him and he couldn't fix the problem." But the problem, at its most basic level, as we all know, isn't Pardew. It's that yet again Ashley fails to invest when the moment is right. The signings we made were literally making up the numbers without a main striker, which we never got nor looked like getting. The Ben Arfa thing, that's Pardew's problem, as well as our dire tactics and shit squad management, but he's just another symptom. The root has been the same since 2008 and doesn't look like changing any time soon.

Hull have signed Gaston Ramirez from Sarfampton, maybe they don't need Ben Arfa now. Straws firmly clutched.

We'll probably bring in the Nastasic kid and have him play right-back in cup games. You'd like to think that if we sign a replacement for MYM, he'd be better than Williamson, but even if he were I don't think Willo will be shifted now. He's too ingrained in Pardew's vision of the side: Attacking RB and LB = Janmaat and Haidara Cultured CB and big dumb CB to play set pieces to = Colo and Williamson Water-carrier wingers a la Jonas = Sissoko and Gouffran Tidy centre midfielders = Tiote, Anita, and Colback Midfield playmaker = de Jong (doubtful that one will come off) Flair player I have to play to keep the fans off my back but I'll eventually fall out with = Cabella 15-goal-a-season striker who gets me out of jail every year = ...shit, knew I was forgetting something...

Pardew says we'll make a signing to replace anyone who goes. I strongly doubt that. Good news is not a whisper on the "Tiote going" front...

Agreed. We're not in for him, he's just going to be the next version of Bryan Ruiz/Charles N'Zogbia/Pablo Aimar that we get linked to on deadline day to placate the fans before the excuses of "just couldn't get it over the line", "can't compete with a sovereign state", "tough financial market", "happy with the squad."

There was a fishy smell about SJP this morning and it was the club, rotting from the head. Pardew must go, he's been done since the first time we lost 0-3 to the mackems and he's never ever looked in control since that match. Hopefully we will soon see the return of the charged atmosphere from the Cardiff match - fiercely supportive of the team, fiercely critical of the muppet nominally in charge of it. Cabella was useless, Gouffran doesn't even deserve a mention, de Jong contributed nothing at all, Riviere barely had a sniff, the defence was out of sorts all game and Colo is definitely on the wane. It took an 18-year-old to inject any sort of energy into us and despite a brilliant showing from the young lad, he'll not be able to do that every game. If we're relying on Riviere and Cisse to score our goals, we are utterly fucked, and if something doesn't change soon, we're in for a winter of discontent. Relegation is not out of the question.

Considering we're not likely to get either, I think this is much ado about nothing. Riviere and SDJ scoring our goals is plan A, Cisse is plan B, we remain at 0 net spend.

At least we aren't Man U?

The Mag is so miserable right now and has been for some time. I'm surprised they don't just slit their throats and get it over with - but then they wouldn't be around to tell us "I told you so" whenever anything negative happens. Just listen to that article. "Ferreyra prefers not playing at Newcastle United to playing at Shakhtar." Not playing? We've had 2 league games and he hasn't been fully fit for them. He just played 90 mins for the reserves. He may well play on Tuesday v. Gillingham. But already they're writing him off. n.b. I'm also not using that cringeworthy nickname "Chucky."

Or in the Championship - remember the Boro recruitment drive a few years back? Seemed they bought half of Celtic.

Not even with that defence.

No, bringing up our pervasive negativity under Pardew is "panicking" apparently. Villa's fault the game was so boring. Come off it man, Villa were barely even on the pitch. Any decent team would've swept them away. We couldn't sweep a chimney.

I can only hope that when Cisse comes back he and Riviere will be played together, because we'll not win anything with 1 striker playing the way we did today. A classic exercise in trying to break down an opposing team and we couldn't. We looked like the even shitter version of Brendan Rodgers's Swansea.

Roy Keane looks the scruffiest bamp, by the way. Do they not have razors at Villa Park? All he needs now is Tony Adams's coat and he could blend in with any tramp from Birmingham to Boston.

Not the player you wanted on the end of that.

What young lad is that? Aarons didn't even make the bench. Or do you mean Perez, there's a thought. After his showing against Man City I feel confident he can't be any worse than Gouffran is right now.

A dire half between two poor sides. We have a team full of water carriers. Gouffran has been thoroughly Pardewed, he now looks like he can barely beat a man and is content to collect the ball and play 10 yard passes, nothing at all like the player we signed 2 Januarys ago. Sissoko is much the same except physically stronger. Colback and Anita are all graft, no craft. Cabella has been terrible and Riviere's barely touched the ball. The fish rots from the head. We've lots of good players across the pitch but the whole is less than the sum of its parts due to Pardew's desperately negative tactics.

Get up you fucking fanny, that carry on was embarrassing. Welcome to the Premier League Cabella.

Feeble.

N'Zogbia looks like he's put on more than a few pounds.

The one time the Williamson flick works to perfection....

I think it will all depend on Pardew's setup. If we line up defensively, we'll be in for a rough time. If we set up as we did against Man City and go out to attack them, we will do well. Swap Gouffran for de Jong and put him in behind Riviere, where Sissoko played v. City, and play Sissoko and Cabella out wide with Anita and Colback in midfield, and that's a midfield bloc to worry all but the best teams.

Watched that dogshit, it was fucking dreadful. Roeder was just Hughton without the rapport with players. Both of them still better than Fat Sam though, the fraud.

Yawn.

Can't get a single player's name right either. A couple of years ago when Jonas was in the side (it wasn't his debut either, he'd been around a while by then) we had 'Gutherez', 'Gooterez', 'Gutterez' and every other variation you could think of playing for us. Someone needs to ship the deluded old fuck off to a museum or possibly a landfill.