acrossthepond

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/temuri-ketsbaia-wants-newcastle-united-8379286#rlabs=1 Temuri Ketsbaia wants the Newcastle United job - and here's his plan for glory

Bolded the most worrying. Only at this club would someone think a home draw and a loss against two of the division's worst teams would entitle them to "throw their hat into the ring."

Fond of Palace as far as London clubs go. Good luck to them, they're going to need it. I doubt their fans will prove any more tolerant of his bullshit than we did, should their relationship last as long as ours has, but no doubt they'll not get the "fickle" treatment from Pardew's mates in the media. Wherever we go from here, Kinnear or de Boer (someone on the Kinnear end of the scale is far more likely), I doubt we'll turn up a worse human being than Pardew. Ta-ta you gormless cunt. Do forget to write.

Is "Cor, he was a good manager, he was" meant to be his attempt to 'do Geordie'? Although the innumerable amounts of dickheads claiming to be toon fans posting on the Chronicle comments pages seem to disagree, I don't think any of us will ever reckon Pardew was a good manager. We had periods where we were good, yes. He was placed under many limitations, yes. We may well end up with a worse manager, yes, I don't dispute that. But was he a good manager? No chance. We plucked him out of obscurity and he managed to get us to Europe once in 4 years before the word came down from upstairs that we weren't to do that again, heaven forbid. The rest of the time we ranged from mediocre to dire, and that's leaving behind the baggage (headbutt, linesman push, Ashley arselicking, guarantee Carroll will not be sold, etc etc) that other mid-to-low Premier League quality managers wouldn't have brought.

Carver until the end of the season, Tuchel in at the season's end according to both of those. Do want.

But Stevie's not banned...

Aye Ayoze standing out as one of the few bright lights of yet another crap season. The lad is pure quality and constantly gets us out of trouble. Too bad we will be selling him next January.

Like I said, Carver is just Pardew with a Geordie accent. The same shit formation and selection, the same over-reliance on cloggers/"water carriers" rather than attacking players, the same suspect defence (what in fuck was Dummett playing at? How about Williamson's suicide header late on?), the same dogshit substitutions (Armstrong has contributed nothing so far at any point he's been on the pitch, Haidara was abominable, our 12m signing rots unused on the bench.) 2 points hoyed away, fanks Mike, fuck off Carver and Stone and take Alnwick with you.

He's been diabolical. Sissoko and Janmaat driving the team on, great goal from Colback, Riviere is a donkey who on current evidence will never make it in this league.

Riviere :lol:

Tiote conceding possession 35 yards from goal almost immediately, augurs well.

Carver is just Pardew with a better accent. Same cowardly selection at home to a team of Championship cloggers.

He'll have to stop posting soon anyway, somebody else at the Pennywell library's going to want a go on the computer.

ASM isn't missing, he's ClubSpinDoctor/DesmondTutu/Thompers/etc etc etc. Never been fully exorcised from this board. There's loads of great posters on here. Someone who always makes me crack up is @yourservice. Doesn't post much as of late but I've been a fan since the Stokoeshops. The Lee Ryder diaries are fucking hilarious too. Actually nearly everyone on here is good crack, there's a few posters missing I'd like to see back, like ScottishMag, Craig, Jimbo (seems like he is back though) and Billy Castell.

I'm convinced whoever replaces Pardew is bound to be a trademark Mike Ashley disappointment. Someone like Curbishley would fit the bill perfectly - English, desperate, cheap, nobody wants him. Bearing that in mind, I'm just glad the man himself has left. Setting to one side the dogshit football and the lickspittle attitude toward Ashley, neither of which are likely to change with the next appointment, he was just so dislikeable as a human being that he lowered the tone at the whole club.

Agreed completely. Every midfield needs a water carrier. The problem is that our entire midfield has been nothing but water carriers since Cabaye went. Sissoko has been trying to fill the role (when he's not wasted out on the wing) but he is a different type of player to Cabaye entirely. All graft and no craft in the midfield means our strikers are not getting service and are forced to fashion opportunities out of nothing, which Cisse and Perez can do, but they can't be expected to do so every game and repeatedly. Tiote, Colback, Anita, and Abeid are all serviceable players (Tiote perhaps better than serviceable but not on current form) but they all perform the same role. I don't think de Jong is the answer either, not that anybody really knows what type of player he is or where Pardew is going to play him. Ryan Taylor is a limited footballer but he at least offers some form of creativity. Cabella is not a central midfielder. Basically I don't think we have anyone at the club currently who can fill the midfield role we need and haven't had for nearly a year now. So our strikers, such as they are, continue to feed off scraps/wait for Sissoko to do something good/wait for our opponents to screw up. Not exactly a recipe for success but it's the same one we've been following all of 2014, with predictable results.

More of his expert man-management and player improvement. Mishandle the player for more than a year, then start playing him in his correct position and claim the improvement is down to his own management. Genius.

The same reason that Pardew does anything, desperation.

Another terrible first half performance. If we were playing a more clinical side we'd be well behind by now. Gouffran off for Cabella, Tiote off for Cisse, go for it in the second half because whatever this approach is, it isn't working.

There's a surprise. Welcome to never being a competitive club again, Rangers.

Considering Pardew is seemingly known for his defensive setups and a limited, unadventurous style of play with covering wingers and grafting water-carriers in the middle, we shouldn't be getting fucking howked on a regular basis. Yet it happens every season. Any time we go 1-0 down I immediately start thinking that it's going to snowball into a 3-0 or 4-0.

I think "dogshit" is a little too kind for Alnwick. The game is lost, let's throw on the 4th choice keeper, he can't be any worse.

Newcastle starting XI: Alnwick; Dummett, Coloccini, Williamson, Haidara; Colback, Sissoko; Perez, Cabella, Gouffran; Riviere.

I can't believe even Pardew would be stupid enough to send out a weakened team for this tie. Chucking a cup quarter-final will prove beyond any doubt whatsoever that he and Ashley have no ambition for this club and any credibility gained over the last few weeks would disappear instantly. Sadly I can completely see him "resting players for the derby" and then us getting stuffed in that match as well. I'd rather win this game than beat the mackems on Sunday, I think. This is our best chance to win anything in years. We've already beaten Spurs, Liverpool and Chelsea this season and there's no reason we can't do it again.

Let's say we go ahead and beat Spurs tonight with a patched-up team, scrape through a semi-final against Sheffield United, and go on to win the whole cup. Does Pardew become a legend? Is Ashley's model validated? The spiteful part of me wants to answer no to both questions. I don't think Pardew will ever be a Newcastle legend even if we do win silverware during his tenure. He's just too unlikable and too contemptuous of us and the North East, and I feel that any success we may end up having in this competition will be slightly overshadowed by the fact that Pardew blatantly sent us out to lose against City. The same goes for Ashley. We've heard from the horse's mouth that winning this cup was never a priority and if we do somehow pull it off, it wasn't part of his business model or whatever the fuck we call his plans for the club these days. I wouldn't credit either of them, I don't think.