Gemmill

He's class man. When he first started it was just funny bad, but he's definitely got a sense of humour and knows he's being daft. LEAVE ADAM ALONE!

He's like an ex-agent where they always face the door and know all their exit points. Just makes sense to be educated on possible threats when you're Newcastle's Most Wanted.

"The view is.... SHITE, let's be fair."

Recording the knife crime statistics segment on a crossing in the middle of a road. Hes still got a bit to learn about video content creation. Just think how good he can still get.

Control your emotions, PERIOD BOY!

Scouser seems like a nice grown up clever boy.

I love that it's the piss-soaked relegation worriers who are now the bullish beefy big boys. I've said it before. It's not pessimism or optimism, it's a basic emotional control issue.

We should sign him then refuse to play him so he can't beat Shearer's record.

I think Kane is stuck at Spurs. The money Levy will want is higher than anyone will be prepared to pay now. He missed his window to get out of that place.

I thought it was a penalty, but I know my judgement is ruined by my hatred of budgie boy Richarlison.

Lloris is shite. Tough break for you backwards divs getting ahead of yourself and eyeing the title race. Condolences.

We're one bad result from dropping out the top 4 now, Mathletes.

City to beat Spurs is the thinking man's choice.

I've got some suggestions for them.

Get in Palace. Now get ready to part those cheeks this weekend.

My Gen 1 electric smart meter was installed by Ovo but can now be read by Octopus. My gas smart meter was installed at the same time but can't be read by Octopus. Who knows. I just submit manual readings for that at least every two weeks so that the cunts don't get out of control with the bills. You need to go spacka daft with EDF. Get all up in their grill on their socials, find out who all their Exco and Board members are off LinkedIn and email them all. Just be an unrelenting cunt until they sort your shit out.

I've got a bean to cup machine. It's fine. Preferable to instant and I'm not going to hipster shops and paying a 5er to find out if theirs is better.

It seems really unlikely that this is going to work out well for them. It doesn't take too many of these players to be bad signings for them to end up another Everton. It's a massive gamble but it feels like their new owners have fucked up. Which is just fucking great. Speaking of which..... Some bedtime listening. Sweet dreams everyone.

Dad, I've got something I have to tell you. Do you want the good news or the bad news? Eh? Good news first? Or bad? Bit fucking busy training the lads here son, if you hadn't noticed... Good or bad? Fuck's sake. Bad. You're getting sacked, dad. They've appointed Gus Poyet. And the good news? I'm still your number one fan! Fuuuuck me. I should've called you One instead of Luke.

DO IT.

We can help them out but FYI Chelsea, we WILL be taking the piss on player valuations.

Genuinely sounds like a fucking CLASS night.

Can we arrange a welfare check for PaddockLad please. I think he might have had a fall.

That Keith's post reads like a fucking Jim'll Fix It letter. Hard to believe an actual adult wrote that.