Billy Whitehurst

Yes, you’re right, we’ll have far more resources to come straight back up this time. Not that we’ll need them as the standard of The Championship is just as shite as it was back then.

That’s what everyone said the last two times we went down. Parachute payments as some Saudi sponsorship deals will see us through.

And that shite will still be a cut above the dross down there. Lascelles looked like Baresi the last time we were down there.

What’s the worst thing that could happen? We go down and then batter the fuck out of everyone else in The Championship next year (which we will as the standard of The Championship is fucking woeful). It might set us back a year or two but we’ll still be on the right trajectory. We’ve had nothing to look forward to for years so let’s not all get too down about it. The majority of us on here are middle aged bastards who have had the hope beaten out of us over the years. We just need a bit of patience.

Right, so who is still with me in the dry sheet squad? Inexplicably, we’re still in with a chance of staying up, time left in the transfer window and, worst comes to worst, battering teams in The Championship will be brilliant next year. We’ll just need another yellow away kit. Keep the faith!

Adam Johnson is a free agent.

Right, what’s the status with the bed wetter brigade? Have you all put your incontinence pants on now or are we expecting another hissy fit tomorrow if we haven’t signed Franz Beckenbauer by lunchtime?

Sign me up to the dry sheet brigade. It’s still early days and we only have to play twice before the transfer window closes (yes, I know they are against teams in and around us). Better to get the right players in for the final 17 matches than shit our pants and panic buy the latest Cacapa/Riviere.

I tested positive on lateral flow (including confirmatory PCR) for 14 days straight. I had no symptoms at any point but sort of isolated in our loft room for the first 7 days and wore a mask/rubber gloves around the house. After 7 days, due to childcare issues, I stopped isolating (although stayed at home) in the house. Neither my wife nor my two daughters (5yrs and 2yrs) caught it. Therefore, it is possible but I’ve heard of so many cases of household transmission that I suspect we were the exception rather than the rule.

I’m sure it has been said on here before but “Gone Fishing” is great. Apple TV+ has some decent stuff too (For All Mankind, Foundation, Invasion, Defending Jacob, Ted Lasso). And for the record, Seinfeld is fucking shite.

You may have had it without knowing. I’m on my 9th day of testing positive without symptoms, getting boring as fuck.

Very sorry to hear that Renton and for all the other terrible shit you’ve been through this year. I can’t begin to imagine what your conversation will be like tomorrow but at least your dad has the very best person he could have to talk it through with him. Life is just unfair at times.

Right, before this horror show unfolds, can someone please tell me what TOT means?

Michael Owen needs to look no further than Toontastic’s very own ‘Premier League Hall of Cunts’ thread to see what we think of him. It says something when you’re comfortably ahead of a convicted pedo who used to play for Sunderland.

You might be ok. Today is my 4th day of testing positive and my wife and kids are all still testing negative.

Likewise. We were flying on the 25th. Technically, we can still go as we all have froggy passports, thanks to my Mrs, but our flight has already been cancelled and we would have to quarantine for a minimum of 48 hours on arrival. In addition, I’m not sure my Covid will have passed in time to do my pre-departure test. The hotel have been sound and have already agreed to refund the lot. In short, there is fuck all point in booking trips abroad until this thing is over.

If you get yourself across to Fulham, I’ll happily give you some positive lateral flow devices to show to them.

It is absolutely tearing through London at the moment. It’s not surprising given how busy the pubs are and how busy public transport was until this week. Then you have stupid pricks like myself going to football matches.

I tested positive this morning. I was at Chelsea v Leeds on Saturday and a packed pub afterwards, so I suspect that may have done for me (either that or my two permanently snotty nosed daughters). I wouldn’t have spotted it but we are supposed to have our work christmas do tonight so everyone agreed to do a LFD test. Not having to go to that is a massive silver lining. I got my third Moderna a week ago so only have a slightly dry throat. It would appear the vaccines do work.

Schar and Lascelles, fuck me. I’ve seen container ships turn faster than those useless cunts.

Aye, they won’t be dancing on the streets of TBC once we’re finished with them.

You mean like catch it or punch it away rather than cushioning it down for their player?

This needs to be our new entrance music. Then pan out to the directors box to see Stavely, Reuben, and MBS lighting blunts with £50 notes.

I’m fairly sure someone on here once took a day off work for transfer deadline day. What a monumental waste of a day off when Mike Ashley owns your club. The thrill of they will he/won’t he saga, for some bang average midfielder who has played a grand total of about 25 mins in the last two years, has me on the edge my seat. What a totally fucking pointless football club we are.