BlueStar

http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/smuggled.asp

What's pink and smells like holly? Ian Huntley's cock. What's black and leaves pints on your doorstep? Damilola Taylor

Right, I have 2 highly bad taste jokes. If I post them in this thread, with it being in the bad taste jokes thread, with a warning in the thread title, with all the naughty jokes preceeding it, simply as an example of a very bad taste joke, will people come to my house with flaming torches and lynch me, or make me feel like a really bad person?

Jenas: "I don't really think this is going to be my season"

Bellamy: Me? Good idea, guess I've had a bit of a nightmare today.

Going just on vids, not music: Aphex Twin Nine Inch Nails Daft Punk Tool Prodigy Plus the ones already mentioned.

None of these are as offensive as some I've heard!

Oh come on, that's like appointing John Bolton to be your ambassador to the United Nations.

Should we break away from all these English bastards and form our own Geordie Republic?

Don't say that man, just watched that program about drinking and by the looks of it a shandy sniffing southern vicar who has the odd port at christmas is a "heavy drinker" so fuck knaas what my liver must be like. Guess when I die of liver damage I'll be a cheap cremation, they'll just be able to flick a match at me. Half a pint of 3.5% (!) lager is one unit

If we were his first choice then he needs locking up, so we can't really win.

Scored some screamers with him on PES after I signed him for the toon.

There's always next season. What are the points/financial penalties for not being able to field a full squad these days?

I'd probably say Carr to be honest. Who should wear the Number 9 shirt? Shola?

aaah obviously a glory hunter then. You weren't with us in the (good ole') bad old days pre keegan then? 9905[/snapback] I was there pre keegan, but I didn't entertain any ideas whatsoever of where we'd finish in the 2005/2006 season back then you cheeky bugger

Yeah, I've always thought that about daredevil. What's your super power? I'm blind. I see. Back of the queue when they were handing them out then?

If we make no more transfers, it wont take many injuries to leave us in dire threat of a relegation battle. And that's the first time I've ever entertained the idea of us being that low down next season.

Thats what Tommy Smith used to say about Emyln Hughes. 9492[/snapback] Thats what everybody used to say about Emlyn Hughes. 9498[/snapback] Until he died, when everyone said he was one of sports true characters.

I had a mate (well, an aquaintence) who we used to call thrush, cos he was an irritating cunt.

But they're mercenaries and trouble makers. We need model professionals. Like Anelka.

Haha, excellent Where do you get your cats in hats? My girlfriends got a wall of cats at work, so I'd like to email her some now she's moved into her new office.

Minus sitting in the smell of stale urine and having some little chaver scrote kick the windows out so you have to stand in the pissing rain at shriemoor for 30 minutes.

Cheers mate - It's not really part of my job, I just volunteered to upkeep the intranet because I'd done it for my last company, and suggested a forum because I was sick of mass emails and notes in word format. Plus it's a bit of variety. Sounds pretty simple although I'm not sure what databases I'd have access to (or how to use the buggers)

What pisses me off is referees chasing after players who are ignoring the whistle and walking away when they want to card them - stay where you are and make the little twat come to you, if he doesn't give him another card. Also, referees doing a backwards 100m sprint when players confront them. Stand your ground you big fanny, they're not allowed to lamp you one, you look a right berk doing a reverse benny hill run right around the pitch.

Look at japan - incredibly violent anime and videogames, and yet very little violent youth crime, because kids are brought up to work hard and show respect for people. But try getting some of our little chaver gits to come into school at 7 to clean the toilets before lessons and see how far you get.