Craig

It's not 5 to 5 though!

On a quote you've just 'invented' now?

Actually I think everyone knows you were being deadly serious until the point when you realised everyone was at which point you decided to make out you were joking! Wacky??

NEWCASTLE UNITED Last year's position: 7th Lawro's verdict: Losing Alan Shearer and Michael Owen is an absolutely massive blow for Glenn Roeder and I'm sure Newcastle will spend before the deadline. Roeder finished well last season, but it's a completely different job now. There was no great pressure when he was caretaker, but the expectations of the fans will be up again this season. In terms of survival, Newcastle will obviously be fine - but the supporters will be looking for a top-six finish. There's an outside chance that they will manage it

I think it has something to do with the fact that it's rumoured he wants a one way ticket over the channel!

Ted Maul/David Icke/Skol/J96 179783[/snapback] J69 will say you're talking bollocks - he's convinced it's still Gol! 179787[/snapback] J69's convinced Chester is a good night out. He knows fuck all, man. 179789[/snapback] He also reckons he has to fight the lasses off with a stick!

Ted Maul/David Icke/Skol/J96 179783[/snapback] J69 will say you're talking bollocks - he's convinced it's still Gol!

Why not simply alter the grading thresholds? I've never understood this A* bollocks, the top grade should simply be 'A', if the governing bodies don't think that's high enough then quite frankly they're admitting that they're over-rating students.

I don't think it's as clear cut as that tbh. I completely flunked my A-Levels, more to do with my attitude stinking than my actual abilities. I had to do a foundation course as a result and therefore was at university a year longer than most but I got my head down and earned my degree.

I can't believe it's 11 since mine! Good luck to all those receiving results today and for those of you who think you've missed your places at uni, get on the blower to them and blag it like you've never done before. I went to the pub for a couple of hours rang them up and talked them into taking me - remember saying to the woman when the call was ending "you'll not regret this decision!"

tbh I couldn't care less how many fans they fit inside Stamford Bridge on Sunday. It's Chelsea FFS, none of our concern

Went to Butlins at Bognor Regis in March.... Shhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite! Full of pikeys and chavs. Never going back, not ever!!

Listening to Talksport this morning, they had an audio clip of Kuyt saying there was only one club he was interested in and hopefully things will be sorted in the next couple of days. While no club was mentioned, Talksport are convinced it's Liverpool...

'Green Mile' & 'Pay It Forward' are the two that get to me...

£1.5m & £40,000 a week??? Rip their fucking hands off Glenn!!

Trust Taylor27! Obviously only read the headline on NewsNow before posting

Happy birthday!

Newcastle United v Wigan Athletic v Saturday, 19th August, 2006 Kick Off 15:00hrs Newcastle from : Given, Harper, Carr, Ramage, Bramble, Moore, Taylor, Boumsong, Babayaro, Parker, Emre, Solano, Duff, Butt, N'Zogbia, Milner, O'Brien, Pattison, Ameobi, Luque. Stephen Carr picked up a hamstring injury on Wednesday night playing for Ireland and looks unlikely to be fit - Ramage is expected to deputise. Duff (groin) and Given (back) were withdrawn from midweek international duty with Ireland as a precaution. Long term casulaties are Owen and Dyer. Taylor and Milner came through Tuesday's England U21 game unscathed (the latter being an unused sub) while Wednesday sees Carr and O'Brien in action for Ireland and Boumsong turning out for France. Wigan from : Kirkland, Pollitt, Filan, Boyce, De Zeeuw, Hall, Baines, Chimbonda, Johansson, Scharner, Skoko, Landzaat, Kavanagh, McCulloch, Cywka, Camara, Valencia, Heskey, Connolly, Wright, Jackson. The Arnhem game saw all seven of Wigan's new signings on display, while wantaway Frenchman Pascal Chimbonda also featured. New faces on show were: Chris Kirkland (goalkeeper, Liverpool), Fitz Hall, (defender, Palace), Emmerson Boyce (defender, Crystal Palace), Denny Landzaat (midfielder, AZ Alkmaar), Tomasz Cywka (midfielder, Zabrze), Emile Heskey (striker, Birmingham) and Antonio Valencia (midfielder, Villarreal). The latter player appeared for Ecuador at the World Cup. However he didn't feature at SJP the previous week when the Spaniards were in Toon. Referee : Martin Atkinson (West Yorkshire) TV : UK - No live coverage. USA - Fox Soccer Channel Canada (Pacific & West) - Rogers Sportsnet Canada (East & Ontario) - Rogers Sportsnet (on delay) Japan - SkyPerfecTV Ch 306 Stats : Should Nicky Butt feature, he'll make his first appearance for us in the Premiership since the defeat at Norwich in April 2005. Duff's expected debut will see him become the 112th player to play for us in the Premiership. We go into this match with an unbeaten run in all competitions that now runs to ten games, Charlton at the Valley in March being the last time we tasted defeat. Our last meeting with the Latics came at SJP in April when we won 3-1, thanks to Shearer's final pair of competitive goals on home soil and one from Titus. That was third time lucky in beating Wigan, having lost at the JJB 0-1 in both Premiership and League Cup games last season.

Reminds me very much of the Owen situation last summer. Everyone expects him to move to Liverpool as it appears to be the better prospect but the Reds (and more specifically, Benitez), just don't seem as interested as us. My thoughts are he'll either come to us or stay with Feyenoord..

For starters I wouldn't ever dream of lobbing Windows Me on ANY machine. I'd use Win95 before I used that piece of shit. You got an alternative?

TRANSFER RUMOURS Reading are poised to sign Cameroon star Andre Bikey on a season-long loan, despite his sending-off against Swedish side Orgryte IS. (Daily Star) Feyenoord and Holland striker Dirk Kuyt is ready to snub Liverpool in favour of Newcastle. (Daily Star) Derby have beaten West Brom in the race to sign Arsenal striker Arturo Lupoli on loan. (Daily Star) Martin O'Neill wants to use striker Juan Pablo Angel as bait to land Celtic's Stilian Petrov. (Daily Mirror) Southampton have offered Fulham's former French defender Martin Djetou, who was released at the end of last season, a one-week trial. (Daily Star) Dutch defender Andre Ooijer has gone on strike at PSV Eindhoven in a bid to force through his move to Premiership side Blackburn. (Daily Mirror) Barnsley's bid for midfielder Lee Williamson has been rejected by Rotherham. (Daily Star) Bolton are in talks with Spanish striker Diego Tristan about a move from Deportivo La Coruna. (Daily Mirror) Manchester City are considering a bid for Tottenham winger Andy Reid, although they may be unwilling to meet the £3m asking price. (The Independent) Newcastle are ready to sign Fulham's Dutch international striker Collins John for £5m. (The Guardian) Thomas Gravesen will tell Celtic in the next few days if he is willing to join them from Real Madrid. (Daily Record) Rangers want to unload four players in order to sign Bosnian defender Sasa Papac this week. (Daily Record) Manuel Fernandes is on the verge of joining Portsmouth from Portuguese side Benfica for £8.5m. (The Times) OTHER GOSSIP Ashley Cole's autobiography will be temporarily shelved if he is forced to stay at the club. (The Sun) Sheffield United striker Steven Kabba could be out for six weeks with a hamstring injury. (Daily Star) FUNNIES New England skipper John Terry wants to make new players sing in front of the rest of the squad. (The Sun) Wycombe are to be fined £50 after they had to wear Bristol Rovers' away kit last week. (Daily Express)

Fuck that, leave the fuckers dangling over there for a good hour and it's still not good enough for them. Tossers! Chuck them to a pack of famished wolves anyone?

JT: C'mon Gary, break dancing is sooo 80s! Riverdance is where it's at!

That's not really fair. We've been looking at strikers all summer. Duff became available, a few days later we signed him. it didn't interfere with the striker search at all. 178420[/snapback] We're minus 4 million. Ergo we can no longer afford a target like Kuyt or Martins it seems... 178442[/snapback] Easy Brock, that's bordering on Wullie's "i'll be devastated if we sign Owen" comment from last summer. Duff is one of the best left wingers in the country, I think it was an inspired bit of business with the bonus that he can play up front if needed. At £5m it was a deal not to be missed. And we've recouped most of the transfer fee by flogging Bowyer and Faye anyway. We will sign a striker man, I have no doubt. I DO doubt it'll be before this weekend now though.

On a related note, West Ham's 'Key Man' is none other than Ashton!