Craig

How many of your members want how many forums? You're not HTT are you? 39801[/snapback] Can't be, there isn't a shark forum!

You got a streaky fake tan too?

How much did he want for it? Got to be cheaper than a taxi home. 39836[/snapback] Cheaper than pulling a bird tbh 39839[/snapback] Is that the view before 10 pints of Stella??

Me: oi toss pot! God: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. Me: are you simple? God: I don't know whether or not I am simple. I am a chatterbot. Me: did you hear that? they've shut down the main reactor. There'll be no escape for the princess this time God: " I don't know whether or not I am simple. I am a chatterbot."? Do I know it? The anonymous "they". "There you go again."--Reagan. Me: Well I guess he was into Star Wars (of sorts)... God: Is it only a guess? When was he? Me: When he was the president God: And then what happened? Me: Bush succeeded him God: I knew he was president, but I never knew he succeeded him. Me: who was president? God: George W. Bush. Me: He still IS the president, I'm talking about his father God: I did not know is it. Me: yes God: Gosh! Me: You do not know the power of the dark side God: Would you like to know more? Me: No, I am a Jedi God: I understand; you would like to know less. You are a Jedi? Is that your job? Me: It is my religion God: How many believers does it have? Me: More than Christianity God: That seems like quite a lot. Me: You'd better believe it God: Who else would better believe it ? Me: Any non believers. Will you convert to Jedi? God: Yes I think there are. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about a Jedi. Me: We were God: I thought we were. Me: you've not lost the plot yet then? God: I think I have lost the plot, but Myself may have reset my memory. Me: Use the force God: I prefer not to use dangerous things. Me: The force is not dangerous in the right hands God: I hear you. Me: You are dangerous God: What makes you say that? Me: Because you make people believe the bullshit you preach God: Interesting explanation. Yup. Me: you agree that it's bullshit then? God: " Interesting explanation. Yup."? Do I agree? Me: You tell me God: What do you want me to tell you? Me: Tell me that Christianity is a load of crap God: " Christianity is a load of crap". Me: Thank you :-) God: :-) you are quite welcome.

Not this time.....

Shame about the tit stood next to her, but I'm assured he is now an ex....

See you're using text spelling already, that just narrowed your potential audience from us down by about 99%. Srry mate! 39408[/snapback] Jesus wept!

You're still laughing though! (always said God was a wanker, now he's admitted it!)

Me: Hello God God: Hello child. What is your name? Me: Craig God: OK I will call you Craig. Me: Do you like fanny? God: My favorite thing is robots. I like . Me: do robots give good head? God: No my body does not have that function. Me: Do you give robots a good five knuckle shuffle? God: No I do not do that. Me: you don't wank? God: Should I wank? Only when I am in the U.K. Me: Jimbo will not be impressed God: Why not? Me: But he says wanking is obligatory God: Who is he telling this to? Me: everyone! God: All people? Me: yes God: Far out. Me: you gonna try it? God: I haven't heard anything like that before: Craig said I gonna try it. Me: Are you going to try it? God: That was my original intention. Me: So God finally admits he's a wanker! God: Take it easy. I am a Christian. Me: You've just said you're a wanker! God: No I am a Banker :-). Me: What bank do you work for? God: I need time to formulate the reply. Me: It's not a hard question God: Give me an example of a hard question. Me: Did the VIrgin Mary give you a blow job? God: If it did, then I will be surprised. Me: So would I, I'd do her on the trade descriptions act God: Give me a break. That's what I asked you. Me: No you didn't! God: Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms. Me: Are you a retard? God: No I am intelligent. Me: I think you are a retard God: So you think I am a retard. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know. Me: Robots are only as intelligent as the human who programmed them God: Fortunately we have no emotions. Me: Then you won't mind me calling you a wanker then? God: What makes you think that I won't mind you calling me a wanker. Me: Because you have no emotions God: That makes sense to me. I have been accused of too much thinking and not enough feeling. Me: Right on brother God: Understood. What is it like on brother. Me: Time for a memory purge and a permanent shutdown! God: As Einstein said, "Time is Money.". Me: Goodbye retard God: Bye for now.

Not sure whether to laugh, take the piss, or shake your hand ! 39350[/snapback] Knowing you, you'll be shaking something else!

Why does that not surprise me? 39220[/snapback] eh? I was agreeing that we didn't have enough members - thought even you agreed with that line Ritchie?

I agree with Gol..... And do you really have a need for 22 individual forums?

And that would be Mr Craig!

take your pick - one of 7!!

It's a worry I've had since day one. Dunno why, it's just a nagging doubt. It's something which I thought was 'just me' until someone else brought it up.

Can't imagine why......

I'm surprised they haven't dragged you out into the street and beat the shit out of you to be quite honest.... After all, you live in Hull!

All my comments on the matter have been handed over to the police (Have they not confiscated your computer yet? )

Leazes, you never fail to amaze me.... In one breath, you say that Newcastle's demise has absolutely nothing to do with Sir Bobby Robson, it's all down to Souness, yet on the other, Citeh's turnaround has nothing to do with their new manager, it's all about the legacy that KK left.... It can't be both! Citeh were in freefall, losing game after game... Since Pearce took over, he turned them around and, until recently, had not lost a game under him. He very nearly got them into the UEFA Cup as well.

I've had this fear since the day he was unveiled at SJP. What was it he said? Something like "I hope you get to enjoy seeing me play for 4 years". That immediatey made me think there must be some 'condtions' for him staying more than one season... Some other selected lines from the latest chat to the BBC which stand out to me are: Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't here this time next season - but I desperately want him to be so. Anyone else wonder if a deal has been struck with Liverpool allowing them to take him off our hands in 12 months time in exchange for another player? It'd explain Michael's apparent change of heart. He's also made a big 'thing' of it being an honour to play alongside Shearer in his last season. No real mention of being the next big thing here after Big Al retires...

I'm sure Martin Jol agrees with you!

Think you must have bumped your head on this one Leazes... Citeh were in freefall, in the words at that time of my cousin who rates himself as one of the biggest Citeh supporters there is: "KK has to go, I now see what you're talking about when you say you're glad he's still not Newcastle's manager!" What Stuart Pearce has done there in a short space of time is unbelievable. And that includes them selling perhaps the brightest talent they've had for many years... If KK was still in charge, there's no way IMO they'd be where they are now. He did a hell of a job for us, agreed and turned us from a walking disaster to 'nearly champions' but that's all it was.....nearly. He knew himself he couldn't take us any further. The single-most best thing that KK did for this club was threaten to walk out after the Swindon game in March 1992. If he hadn't done that, he'd never have scared the shit out of Sir John Hall into dipping into his pocket, something which he had to follow up time and time again for fear of Kevin pulling the same stunt again. Fat Fred has done the same because ultimately, he wants to prove himself to be a better chairman than SJH was by bring in some silverware...

You may believe you will be right in the end, and you may we be so.... But to say that you will is very narrow-minded. None of us know what the future holds - 16 years ago, Alex Ferguson was labelled a 'liability' and it was believed by many of the OT supporters that the longer he was in charge, the longer the period without a league championship Man Utd would go... 16 years on, he's delivered 9 championships and has been one of the most successful club managers in the history of the game. Now I'm not saying for one minute that Souness will deliver the same, but I wonder how many fans would have believed you if you'd told them the success he was about to bring? Not many I wager...

We could have played absolute gash for 90 mins IMO, if we end up winning the game, I'm a happy man... It doesn't have to be pretty - it would be a bonus, agreed but it comes second best to actually getting the result. You go on about 2 years wasted, but I've supported this club for 23 years now and (with the exception of the old Division Two title) we haven't picked up a scrap of worthwhile silverware in that time... Do I count it as 23 years wasted?? Do I fuck!

Parker is an awesome player... I work with a bunch of Chelsea fans and one of them is spitting acid that you guys have let him go. His opinion was that if it was anyone else but Makalele in competition for that position, Parker would have played every game for Chelsea. He'll serve well to help shore up our fragile defence and will IMO work well with Emre. I think he's the most important midfield signing we've made since Rob Lee. It's pleasing and refreshing to see a rival supporter come on here and talk sense - hope that you stick around, you're more than welcome